𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑳𝒀 // fillie

5: drink your sense away, baby

638 words (yes ik its short)

listen to changes- xxxtentacion in the background. i just want to take a moment to recognize x for his music, some of his decisions in the past may have not been the best but i truly believe he was trying to change his life for the better and my heart grieves for his family and friends. he was an amazing soul. i felt like i ought to have included one of my favorites songs of x to honor him. rest easy xxx.

*****

there is a reason way parties just aren't my thing. its an escape for many people i know. a place for them to unravel and forget about what's happening at home and just drink their problems away. i understand that but alcohol causes me to make impulsive decisions and say what i don't want to say. 

i navigate through crowds of sweaty teenagers as slow pop plays in the background. i've already lost iris, probably drinking by now. i scan the view in front of me trying to find a familiar face, shrinking when i see jacob sartorius (we were partners in chem last year) staring at me with a mischievous look in his eyes. he starts to make his way towards me and thinking impulsively i grab a red cup filled with a clear liquid from someones hand and remove myself from jacob's view. 

he's been acting strange this entire summer.

i take a tentative sip of the liquid in my hand and from the taste, find out its vodka. i feel the burn and exhilaration as i take another sip, and another, and another, until i've finished the cup. i'm not drunk yet but i feel it coming on. 

why am i even worrying about getting drunk. it's a party, drink your sense away baby.

i pick up another drink from the kitchen counter and chug it down. i catch a glimpse of red hair and pause only to pick up a new red cup and then pushing past people to catch up to her. i hit her on the upside of her head to get her attention and her freckly face bursts into a smile once she sees me. 

"millieeeee." she slurs, leaning on me to keep herself upright. she's drunk. "you look beautifullll. i was talking to... to c-caleb and then he disappeared."

i frown. "i'll go look for him and i'll tell him to find you. i'm on my way to find... l-luna anywayy..." i realize that my words are starting to slur together and that i'm not as clear headed as i usually am. she nods and then stumbles away. i sigh and take another gulp of the drink in my hand and start to go upstairs to go look for luna or loren, i haven't seen them yet.

i half walk, half stumble, up the stairs as i scan everyone's face near me, trying desperately to find someone else i knew. i barge into every room in the long hallway, some doors i regret opening due to the fact that two people were sucking face and two seconds away from getting down. i finally go into the last room and stop in my tracks when my drunk mind finally recognizes whos in front of me.

finn wolfhard.

******

o my god 

guys

i'm so sorry this is unbelievably short but i haven't updated in a few days and i felt like i had to get something up.

we're on vaca and it's my bday today so it's a bit hard to keep updating regularly but i'm gonna really try. this is only part one of this chapter part two is coming in the next few days :)

ALSO ITS YA GIRLS BIRTHDAYYYYYYYY

hope u all have a blessed day and had a good nights sleep ❤️ 

- r