𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑳𝒀 // fillie

epilogue

// 1888 words //

cause i'm trash at song writing the song included in this is NOT MINE. it is just a song that i love dearly called be alright by dean lewis.

M I L L I E

"ms. brown? mr. wolfhard?" ms. dyer says, looking up from her clipboard. "it's your turn."

i slowly stand up, as finn does too, and we walk up to the front of the room, facing dozens of our classmates. finn is holding a guitar, the very same one i saw him playing that night so many weeks ago, and i hold a small notepad filled with song lyrics.

i clear my throat and begin speaking. "uh, hi. i'm millie and this is finn--"

"fillie." someone in the back coughs out, and i can't help but smile.

"and we decided to... be creative with this assignment." i say, looking to ms. dyer who is nodding approvingly.

"the main goal of this project was to pick a song that meant a lot to you and your partner, and study it, learn it, feel it, and just wholeheartedly connect with the song. the extra portion of this assignment, writing a letter of forgiveness to someone you have done something to, we will be turning in to ms. dyer separately." finn says, continuing my train of thought.

"so, instead of making a whole presentation on the song we chose, lovely by billie eilish, we decided to write a song inspired by her and her writing, which we will be sharing with you today." i finish as finn gets his guitar ready, i take a deep breath. this song means more to me than anything i've ever sang or wrote before. finn starting writing it when we took a break a few weeks ago, and i continued it, putting all my heart into the words and music. finn starts playing the melody of our song in soft strums as i start singing.

"I look up from the ground
To see your sad and teary eyes

You look away from me
And I see there's something you're trying to hide
And I reach for your hand but it's cold

You pull away again
And I wonder what's on your mind
And then you say to me you made a dumb mistake
You start to tremble and your voice begins to break

You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's
They were my mate's
And I feel the color draining from my face"

i look around at the faces of my classmates and ms. dyer, and i smile when i see ms. dyer swaying along with the rhythm of the song and wiping a tear from her eye.

finn joins in with me at the chorus.

"And my friend said

I know you love her, but it's over, mate
It doesn't matter, put the phone away

It's never easy to walk away, let her go
It'll be alright"  

i start tearing up at how meaningful the song is to me and finn notices and holds my hand for a moment before playing the melody again.

i drop out on the next stanza.

"So I still look back at all the messages you'd sent
And I know it wasn't right, but it was messing with my head