Daughter of the Fallen

Service Part 2

Negan, Rick, and I walked into the medicine room to see Carl pointing a gun at a Savior.

"Carl," Rick said hurriedly. "Put it down."

"No," Carl denied. "He's taking all of our medicine." He looked back at the Savior. "They said only half our stuff!"

Negan walked over. "Of course." He chuckled. "Really, kid?"

Carl looked at him. "You should go. Before you find out how dangerous we all are."

Negan looked slightly surprised. "Well, pardon me, young man, and excuse the sh*t out of my godd*mn french, but did you just threaten me? Look, I get threatening Davey over here, but I can't have it. Not him, not me. Now-"

"Carl," Rick interrupted. "Just put it down."

Negan held up his index finger. "Don't be rude, Rick, we are having a conversation here. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. Your giant, man sized balls. Almost as big as your girlfriend's over here. No threatening us. Listen, I like you, so I don't wanna go hard proving a point here. You don't want that. I said half your sh*t, and half is what I say it is. I'm serious. Do you want me to prove how serious? Again?

I covered my mouth with my hand as I willed myself not to break down. Lower the gun, Carl.

It almost seemed like he wasn't going to, but he looked over at me and, seeing my expression, sighed sadly and lowered it. He handed it to Rick and walked out of the house.

I put my hand on Rick's arm before following Carl out.

Closing the door, I yelled, "What the h*ll was that?" I ran to catch up to him.

He sighed. "He needs to be stood up to."

I stopped in front of him, making him stop as well.

"Don't you think we know that?" I asked, my voice staying loud. "I wanna kill Negan just as much as you do. That b*stard killed my dad!"

"Then why aren't you doing anything?" Carl shot back.

"Because I don't wanna lose anyone else!" I yelled, tearing up. I waited and took a deep breath, willing my voice to get quieter.

"I thought you were gonna die that morning," I told him. "And it was one of the scariest moments of my life. I'm not gonna have you live through that just to die now."

His gaze softened.

"I cannot lose you," I stated. "I can't."

I walked away, feeling that if he tried to comfort me, I would break beyond repair. As if I hadn't already.

•••

Later, I sat in the church with everyone as Rick prepared to talk to us about two guns that had been found missing.

"I thought about hiding some of the guns," he said. "I did it before. I figured I could bury some outside the walls. Maybe we don't touch them for years."

"Years?" Tobin asked in shock.

"Yeah, that's right. But what if the Saviors find those guns? What if we run into them with those guns on us? One of us dies. Maybe more, maybe a lot more. Doesn't matter how many bullets we have. It isn't enough. They win, it's that black-and-white. Hiding a couple guns isn't the answer. Not anymore. We don't have to like it, but we have to give them over. A Glock 9 and a 22. That's what they're looking for. Who has it?"

It wasn't me. I hate Negan but I at least know that hiding guns is a stupid decision.

No one else spoke up either.