☁︎
L y d i a
I couldn't comprehend all the thoughts going through my head, I felt sick to my stomach. M-my name. On his arm.
I ran off the field and behind the bleachers where I cried and cried. When I heard my name being shouted I ran away again.
Once I got home I collapsed onto the floor in tears and sobs. My tears drowned out the sound of my phone. Once I took a breath I heard it.
I walked over to it and took a deep breath and smiled.
"Hello?" I spoke.
"Lydia? Stiles has been in an accident." I dropped the phone causing it to smash. I fell to the ground once again, but not cying or screaming. Just blank. It's like all the emotions were too much.
Rushing down the stairs and into the car, where I drove to the hospital. The tears clouded my vision as I drove.
Once I got there and rushed inside i spotted Scott and Allison. I instantly ran to them and hugged them, our tears all falling.
Once we had a good cry we sat down on the chairs, Allison arms wrapped around me, mine round hers.
"W-what happened?" I spoke, voice breaking.
"H-he took an o-overdose, Lydia." Scotts voice broke; tears falling, this made me cry even more.
"B-because of m-me." I cried out.
"Lydia, read this it will explain everything." My trembling fingers took the letter out of Scott's hand. I opened it cautiously and sat down, I inhaled and exhaled before beginning to read.
'Lydia, I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for ignoring you, I'm sorry for destroying you, and I'm sorry for breaking your heart. But most of all I'm sorry for not telling you I loved you when I know I did.'
"I love you too." I whisper under my breath. I carefully trace my fingers over his writing.
"Scott?" Someone called out that made me look up and see Melissa.
"He's okay." We all let out a huge sigh. I hug Allison, and then Scott. "But, He's in a medically induced coma."
"W-what does that mean?" I ask.
"We don't know when he will wake up." She replied. I looked at Scott tears in my eyes.
"C-can I see him." Melissa nods and shows us to his room.
In the room lay a pale, fragile boy. A boy whom I have loved since the 3rd grade. I couldn't stand to see him like this, all broken. I walk towards him and take his veiny hand in my small ones. I can see my name carved into his arm, I carefully trace my fingers over it; bending down I kissed it.
"Hey Stiles. It's me Lydia. I know I'm probably the last person you want to see, well hear but anyway.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not believing you, and knowing you would never lie to me. But I was stupid and didn't believe and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you and tormenting you, it's just you hurt me, and you didn't seemed like you cared." I look back at my name. "But you were hurting, and I know that's no excuse at all, but I'm truly sorry. Most of all I'm sorry for not telling you I loved you. 'Love' you. I love you Stiles Stilinski. I love every part of you. Your smile, your eyes, your moles, your sarcasm, and the love you have for everyone and everything." By this point I was a reck all of my tears had been shed over the whiskey eyed boy.
I leaned over and kissed his head, then resting my forehead on his. I then just stare and stare at him. I pull up a chair next to his bed and take his hand into his.
"I'm not leaving you, not now, not ever, because I love you mischief." I smile and kiss his hand; sitting down on the chair I keep his hand in mine.
I then take out my head phones, I place one in his ear and one in mine, I begin to play 'skinny love' by birdy.
I sat there for at least 7 hours my playlist ringing through my headphones. The Smiths, Artic Monkeys, Florence + The Machine, Oasis, The Stone Roses, Guns and Roses, Green Day, all sorts to be honest.
My hand was still in his and had not moved, Scott had taken Allison to get some clothes, they asked if I wanted to come but I couldn't leave Stiles. I made a promise and I intend to keep it.
"Lydia?" Melissa said and made me look up.
"Oh, hey Melissa." I replied.
"What are you till doing here it's, 3 in the morning?"
"I don't want to leave him."
"Lydia, you need to sleep." She spoke rubbing my back.
"I'll sleep when he's awake." I respond.
"Okay, well my shifts over I'm heading home."
"Okay, Goodnight Melissa." I say.
"Goodnight Lydia, now get some sleep." She said making me smile. Once she had left I turned of my music and placed my phone on the side.
"Come on Stiles, you have to wake up. You have to wake up so I can take you on a date. We can watch the breakfast club and eat pizza, how does that sound?" I laugh and a few tears fell.
"You can't leave me Stiles. Okay, I need you. I need you to talk too and to hold and to kiss. Do you remember in 6th grade, I had a panic attack and you calmed me down by kissing me." I blush at the memory.
*F l a s h b a c k*
My dad had just left me and my mom and I felt like I couldn't breath. I walked into school and Stiles spots me immediately.
"Lydia? Lydia? You okay?" He asked.
"Um, I t-think I'm having a p-panic a-attack." I say and he drags me into an empty classroom.
"Okay, Lydia breath, try and slow your breathing." He said.
"I'm trying." I said gasping for air.
"Think about good things, happy things like friends and fami-, wait not family." I hold my chest as he takes my face into his hands.
He then places his lips onto mine. If felt like fireworks and explosions. It was passionate and lustful, it was perfect.
"Why'd you do that?" I ask quietly.
"I read once that holding your breath can stop a panic attack, so when I kissed you. You held your breath." He said.
"I did?" I ask.
"Yeah, You did." He replies.
* E n d O f F l a s h b a c k*
I smile softly at the memory; remembering it very clearly. I kiss his head and brush his hair out of his face, before resting my head on the edge of the bed staring at him, thinking.
'I love Stiles Stilinski.'
———
V o t e &
C o m m e n t
- stiles you have to wake up!
em☁︎
