Letters to you, Book 5 in Wingless Series

Letter 19

Years before I used to lie outside, staring at the stars wondering what my part was in this gigantic universe. Well when you're given the job of killing people, it's hard to figure that one out. But I did, so now I don't sit outside that much anymore.

Evan

I never was a feeble individual, I remember one time when I was younger, when Gray liked to do everything in his power to rattle my cage. He picked up his baseball, he was just hitting thirteen. His idea of a good time was complaining about turning into a man, and driving me insane. So anyway, Gray thought it was hilarious to pick up his baseball and throw it at me. The baseball hit me full force in the face nearly breaking my nose, cracking my lip open, I remember running as fast as my little legs could carry me to the bathroom. I didn't cry, instead I slicked the floor with Mom's best shampoo and needless to say, Gray got his first broken arm that summer.

Time and time again in my life I was challenged, it took a lot to think back to before I met Evan. Back when the hardest decision was getting up to go to class. When Vanessa Worthy was my best friend, and when we had no worries that meant anything more then what grade we would get in chemistry.

I wondered what would have come of Vanessa; it scared me at the same time to think I never saw her later on in life, even before she died. It was almost eerie.

And now instead of having Vanessa, the soft spoken laidback girl for a best friend, I had Kenny. Another person I never saw entering my life, now I couldn't live without him.

I adored parts of life that others would never. I always thought I wouldn't appreciate it, and now that I did, it made me want to be around longer.

I would never have Marcus; I learned how to deal with that. I knew that even if I didn't have him anymore, I had him for many glorious years. And that was better than nothing.

As I finished getting Oliver dressed for his birthday party, I really took the time to appreciate what his year of life meant to us all. Having Oliver at one time seemed awful, I wasn't afraid to admit that to myself. But even when I thought I wouldn't be able to cope, I did. And now looking back on the year I had with my little boy. I was beyond words; I loved him and wanted the best for him, even if I feared for him coming into the world at one time. I knew if he were anything like his Mother and Father, he would have more than a chance; he could make it through anything.

"Everyone is here." Ari said giving a knock before she entered. I still kept my word and did not speak a word about Ari being pregnant. If she was ever ready to say anything that would be for her to decide.

I wasn't ready to come back to the house, and as much as it pained Evan to have us away, he knew we were happy with Dad for the moment. He also knew I still loved him no matter what, he knew how to let me be and how I would always come back around.

"Now doesn't he look handsome?" Dad said taking Oliver in his arms and planting a kiss on his forehead. I admired the bond he had so quickly with his grandson.

"He always does what are you saying?" Evan said coming to stand by us; I stared out into the living room. Ari had taken it upon herself to decorate everything that had a surface with balloons and zoo animal decorations. I felt Evan's hand at my waist as I let out a bit of a sigh at Hannah.

"I haven't seen her in forever." I said under my breath to Dad and Evan.

"She's your sister, and Oliver's aunt." Dad said sternly as Hannah approached.