Being Next to You - Always there

rina - bench

     Classes ended. I followed my usual routine for the day.
     "I'll be going now." I asked permission to my friends, as I was about to leave, glancing at my watch.
      "What? You're going already," exclaimed Theresa, acting like a little girl.
      "Sorry." I don't know what to say. She looks a bit disappointed, but then, it turned into a nice smile.
      "Can't make your boyfriend wait, huh?" Said Carol. There was a devilish look of mischief in her eyes- I don't why again I thought of that.
     That wasn't nice..!
     "It's fine, Carol," scolded Theresa to the actress. "See you tomorrow. Have fun," she bid.
     "See you tomorrow," I waved. And when I walked out of the room, Julian was waiting for me outside.
     "Are you done already?" He asked.
     "Yes..." I was very stiff.
     "Our class finished earlier," explained Julian.
     "Umm... Sorry, I'm late, then.." It made me tipsy.
     "Don't sweat it," he replied.
     "Okay," I responded.
     Silence. Because it was the first time Julian went to my classroom than our usual spot. I was happy and edgy at the same time.
     I get the feeling that I'm flustering... again..!
     "Rin—"
     "CAN WE GO TO THE LIBRARY!?"
     My voice suddenly raised.
     Julian got startled. "The library??" He questioned. "Sure..."
     And the library we went to...
     WHY???
     Why did I suggest to go to the library?!? There is nothing I want to borrow, and I have plenty of books I haven't read yet at home. I was such an idiot, and its because I panicked earlier. And not to mention, I may be frightened Julian— how embarrassing.
     "Rina, have you found a book?"
     Startled.
     BUMP.
     Ouch.
     I cried. My head hurts..!
     That sound when I hit my head on the shelves was very loud and clear. It was a bump, BUMP. Seriously, I kept saying the word, "embarrassing" in my head repeatedly— like a broken record.
     "Are you alright?" Julian concerned.
     "I'm fine. I just hit my head— a little..," I answered. But I was definitely sure that he heard that BUMPING SOUND too.
     "Did you find anything you were looking for?" He asked.
     "No. Sorry about suggesting the library, Julian." And that embarrassing sound...!
     I'm very sorry.
     "It's fine. Let's go," he patted my head, and it felt nice as I replied "okay". I feel up and down as we exited the library together.
     We changed our walking course for today. Instead of using the front door, we passed using the back door, but we needed to go around.
     We stopped, as we passed by the baseball club playing a game. There was an empty bench nearby, so we sat.
     A moment of silence. You can hear the sound of the metal bat and running shoes. And maybe, the voices of tough youthful boys, yelling around in circles. It's a bit pleasant to my ears— the sound of high school youth, I mean.
     "I envy them," I uttered.
     Julian heard me. "What?" He asked.
     "N-Nothing!" I flinched.
     "No, I heard something. What's wrong, Rina?" Julian asked again.
     I began fidgeting my fingers, then my hair. "It's really nothing, but— I think I want to experience something that is very school-like."
     "Studying?" He tried guessing. I don't know if he was serious or jesting.
     "Not- really," I don't know how should I answer. My mind speaks differently than my own mouth. "Perhaps something fun? I think stargazing is fun."
     I gave an example.
     Julian started thinking, leaning back and front from his seat— his expression was also obvious. I felt bad yet I can't help but feel overwhelmed.
     "How about the school festival? Not far from now, we'll be holding that celebration. We can both spend time together and have fun while trying different kinds of booths," he suggested.
     "What if one of us got sick?" I was looking for a hole.
     "The school festival last three days long, so we can spend at least a day," he answered.
     "What if one of us was sick three days long?" I looked for another hole.
     "Let's see..." I made him think again. "How about making up for that day, and go somewhere better. Though, we can spend the school festival next year if that happens."
     "What if we didn't spend it together? That next year is our final year of high school," I kept on looking for holes.
     "You're right," he said. "Then, I promise not to get sick or injured or be occupied in our next school festival and our last school festival."
     Julian made my heart squeezed. No fair. "Do you like the school festival?" I asked, making a face.
     He smiled. "Not particularly," he answered. "But I came to like it... some of the booths, I mean. I enjoyed last year's mini pancakes. There was dancing at the end of the third day, everyone was required to join. And I don't mind dancing with anyone, but if you want, when that day finally comes, I can only dance with you, Rina."
     My chest skipped once more. He intentionally made a maiden's heart race. I wonder if he was aware of that matter. However, I appreciated the fact he was trying.
     "Is that a promise?" He asked me.
     "Okay," I answered.
     "A man doesn't break his promises," he quoted.
     "Don't underestimate a woman. I'm also going to promise not to get sick or injured or occupied," I replied.
     And then, he held my hand.
     "But first of all, I need to think about the stargazing," he mentioned. Although, I said that he didn't need to because it was only an example.
     "Don't you want to try it?" Julian asked.
     It was difficult to refuse him. "It— would be an experience," I answered.
     "Then it settles it," he decided. "But since it's at night and you have a curfew, I need to make some adjustments."
     "Okay. I'll be looking forward to it," I replied.
     "Me too," he said. Julian stood up, both of his hands were back in his pockets. "Shall we get going?" He asked.
     I smiled. "Sure," I was ready to head home.
     Walking together. And the next thing we know, we left the bench. But I didn't know, that leaving that bench will change everything.