Being Next to You - Always there

rina - walk

     I began shredding tears. And I can see Julian's oblivious face, staring.
     "..."
     "Is there something wrong? Are you hurt somewhere? Hey—"
     "I like you."
     "Huh?"
     "I really like you, Julian," I confessed again.
     Then, it happened so fast...
     Julian's hands slowly touched my face, his eyes were peering to mine, and his face was 3 centimeters close. My eyes can't move, and it happened so fast...
    "Rina, what's wrong?" He asked.
     "N-Nothing's- wrong..," I fidgeted. I can feel my face was burning red. Averting my eyes, his hands were big and warm— Julian was still pushing his fingers lightly onto my face. I can't help, but to think indecent thoughts, as he held my face longer, then, he let go.
     My heart beat so fast, but I stopped trembling. I thought that he was doing it on purpose..
     I don't know...
     I look at him again, as Julian watches the sunset. His brown hair and light brown eyes reflected the bluish orange color, and it made him look attractive.
     Julian is a kind person who doesn't talk too much, doesn't make many expressions, and always composed. Yet kind and gentle like the wind.
     "Julian's like the wind." I felt like smiling.
     His expression changed when he turned around. His eyes went wide and his hand flew over his mouth.
     "Sorry," he said.
     Julian was surprised and awkward, yet again, it made my heart skip a beat. His reaction was a keeper.
     "Rina, you say a lot of surprising words," he said.
     The sunset covered his flushing face. I don't know if was really flushing. Julian just won't look at me.
     "I really like your face," I teased.
     "Personality is also important."
     "I also like your quiet personality, Julian."
     He smiled, "Really?"
     Julian took me home, and I properly thanked him for this time.
      "Thank you for everything. I had fun today."
     "You're welcome. I had fun too," he replied.
     "Even there were unexpected events?" I worried. Thinking about what I've done earlier.
     He smiled, "Even there were unexpected events. Don't sweat it."
     I was red as an apple. "Thank you again."
     "It's okay, Rina. I should be going then."
     He was about to leave, I called him out.
     "DON'T GO YET, JULIAN!" Grabbing the towel I bought inside my bag for him.
     "It's for you," I handed his present.
     He opened the package. "It's dancing strawberries," he noted as he looked the design at the towel on his hand.
     "Is the design I chose weird?" I unsurely asked.
     Julian looked at the towel again.
     "No, it's not," he answered. Then, he was looking at the dancing strawberry print again.
     "Thank you. I'll gladly use after my baths," he added.
     "I'm delighted," I replied.
     Julian cleared his throat. "See you in school," he said.
     "Okay," I replied.
     "Goodnight, Rina."
     "Umm.."
     "Yes?"
     My chest was pounding. "I know this is a little strange, but..."
     "What is it, Rina?"
     I laughed weirdly. I don't know why I'm having a hard time...
     "Rina, do want to take a short walk?" Julian asked.
     I think he noticed it too.
     We are walking around in my neighborhood.
     When we were a little far from my house, he asked, "What do you want to ask, Rina?"
     "Is it okay to say it? I think it's a bit embarrassing..."
     "It's fine."
     "Umm... Do you think it's strange to call you my boyfriend?"
      I finally said it.
      "I don't think it's strange," Julian answered with a straight face.
      He was fast.
      "Oh?" I want to hide myself. "It's... not strange?"
     "Rina, are you embarrass by the 'b' word?"
     "Ha? Umm.."
     "Are you nervous?" He continued.
     "I'm sorry," I said.
     "Rina, you apologize too quick. I don't think it's good for you."
     "Really?" I asked.
     "Believe me," he said.
     Julian turned around, and then, he was begging for alms. He stayed at that position for a while.
    Should I be doing something?
    Julian cleared his throat. "Do you want me to hug you?"
     "Huh?! That is a bit..."
     "You tried to hold my pinky earlier," he argued.
     I nodded.
     I tried moving.
     Where should I put my arms? Is it alright to wrap them around his neck? Maybe around his waist? Is body-contact fine? What should I do? Can I still backout?
     Julian sighed.
     "Too slow," he said.
      He wrapped my face with his chest.
      I don't know how to react.
     "Julian..," I muffled.
     "Sorry, are you suffocating?" He worried.
     I shooked my head.
     I pressed my arms around his waist.
     He was stupefied.
     "This is not weird," I nervously exclaimed. "Couples in books do these kind of things."
     Julian stayed silent. Embarrassed. His ears were colored red.
     "Okay," he answered.
     I hid my face in his bosom, "Thank you.... Julian..."
     Goodness gracious. He was cute.
     "Rina," he called with his soft yet mellow low voice.
     "Yes..?"
     I can hear his pulses. I really like his sound.
     "I feel nervous ever since that day," he said.
      His hand feels warm yet when I look at his face, his smile was sad. I took a good look at him, I hugged back, but suddenly Julian was startled.
     "Sorry, Rina," he apologized.
     "For what?"
     "I don't think I'm a good material for this kind of relationship, so I really don't know what are the do's and don'ts in dating. I just do things that I think that is okay to do in a relationship. I did some researches, but I guess the real is still— different."
     "Isn't that good," I said.
     "Hmm?"
     "I mean, we're both amateurs. It's a little funny, but I think I like this kind of way. Since we are don't know what we're doing, we're free to try our own ways in expressing things. It can be one of a kind."
     Julian stroked my head one more time, "I think that's a bit corny, but the answer is okay. Say, didn't you realized that you answered your problem?"
     I grabbed his hand on top of my head.
     He seems surprised.
     I'm holding his hand again.
     "Thank you very much."
     "You're welcome."
     "I think we should head back, my brother might get worried."
     "I think so too."
     I'm nervous again, "Umm... Julian..."
     "Yes?"
     "Goodnight, Julian."
     "Goodnight, Rina."