Being Next to You - Always there

rina - I really like him

     Eyes staring at each other. It seems to be that time grows a bit slower.
     "Hey."
     "Hey."
     He's here.
     Julian's here.
     Everything became a little colorful and brighter. I may be just imagining things but something definitely changed.
     "I heard it from Sidney," he said, taking a chair from the opposite side of the table.
     I wondered how did I look like?
     "Y-Yes... I guess he told you, huh?" I replied. My throat was aching.
     I need to say something else.
     "Break time?"
     Julian nodded.
     He took something out from his pocket, it was my earring.
    "Here," he said awkwardly, "it was in my room."
    My face flustered just the moment I saw it.
    "From back then?" I uttered.
     "Yeah, it might have fell down when you visited last time."
     "That's because—!"
     I began remembering it again.
     I'm overheating.
    "I shouldn't have visited to your house, Julian..."
     I covered my redness with the book.
    "Don't worry about it. No one was there except the two of us, and my family didn't notice anything," he said.
     "That's even worst..."
     "Is it?"
     Julian looks innocent.
     He was just looking me, and I was just reading, continuing the last page that I've read. However, I can't concentrate in the words written on the paper.
     "What are you reading?" He changed the mood.
     "Rag doll in the Attic," I answered. "Have you heard of it?"
     "Not really," he said.
     I smiled, "Me neither."
     Julian was handsome today.  He was wearing a white shirt, but his sweat made him sexier. Wearing a red bandana on top like Sidney, though, his style was cooler. His school pants was the cherry on top.
     I don't know how people may perceive him today. Is he weird? Is his sweat glands makes him shinier? Shinier? What am I talking about?? That's not cool! And yet, my chest kept on fluttering. Is my makeup still covering my cheeks??
     "Hmm?"
     "Yes!"
     My voice jumped out of nowhere. I've startled him.
     "Don't be so nervous," he said. His light brown eyes were staring. I was starting to feel sick.
     Oh great.
     Someone bury me under a hole.
     "Rina, are you okay?"
     "I'm totally great..."
     "About this number..."
     "Hmm?"
      "Rina, are you even listening?"
      "Of course I am."
      "Well, is it okay that you look at me?"
      "No."
      Yikes. I raised my pitch. I sounded angry, like I hated that idea.
      I even sounded so sarcastic. The book successfully blocked my face.
     Julian removed my shield.
    "Hey," I reacted.
    "I'm confiscating this," he said. He really took the book away from me. I tried to grab it back, but his actions were too flexible. His arms are not that long.
     I just can't keep up with him.
     "Your face is red," he smiled.
     I was beginning to grease. I don't like my oily skin, and Julian was teasing me.
     Uncool yet cute.
     "How do you feel?" He asked.
     "Sweaty," I roughly replied.
     "It makes you uncomfortable, right? Cooking inside a hot place for so long distressed me."
     What?
     I asked, "Does that make you happy?" 
     "If it will make you look at me in the eye, my answer is yes. Did that answer your question?"
     He smiled again. I'm definitely sure that he was teasing me.
     And yet my facial expressions kept on moving on its own.
     But the thing is...
     I can't see it. So I don't know the reason why Julian kept on behaving like that!
    Look.
    What is he doing? Who is he calling?? And why is that person coming here???
    "Excuse me. This lady got this number." He was talking to a pirate holding an instant camera.
    "What are you doing, Julian??" I was very worried.
    "It seems that I'm right," he commented to himself.
    I was very clueless.
    "Rina."
    "Yeah?"
    "Seven is the lucky number of the pirates, and you're our customer no. 17. Every customer that has a number seven will get a special treatment, so you'll get one for today, princess."
     "You noticed the dress?"
     He snickered just now.
    "Yeah. I also noticed that— you do a lot of eye-catching things. That's not a bad thing."
     Julian patted my head, "By the way, the dress makes you prettier." He fixed the flower crown on top of my head.
    A natural player, and I love him.
    I think I know what's going on.
    "So taking a picture is the prize," I said.
    "Yeah."
    I locked his arm between mine.
    I was looking at my shoes. "Take a picture with me. I make weird faces if I'm alone, I'm also not use of somebody taking my photos..."
     "Alright," he answered.
     1, 2, 3.
     Click.
    .  .  .
    I already received my photograph. It's instant afterall. Julian and I took a walk outside, looking at booths. Although, I can't stand this paper...
    "I still made a weird face," I frowned.
    Julian noticed that I kept on glaring on picture ever since we exited his homeroom.
    He tried to comfort me. He said, "It's fine, you just need some practice."
    "Easy for you to say, you looked amazing," I argued.
     Julian took a look of the shot. His face was close.
    "I think you're prettier here than now," he said.
    "Are you telling me that I don't look good?"
    "Well, your hair is frizzier than before." His thoughts are so open. Whatever.
     I placed the photograph inside one of the book's pages. I made it a bookmark.
     Now that I think of it, this book is rather old but it seems the owner takes good care of her stuff.
     Why do you think I assumed the owner as a girl?
     This book's target are girls. I maybe wrong, but it ain't a bad guess.
     I turned the next page, and something fell on the ground.
     "Julian, wait a minute," I said.
     I picked it up, and it was a bookmark with a design of a teddy bear with an eye-patch covered with—? What is this? Is this blood?
    I found it unsettling at first, but I cannot judge someone's taste. Everyone is different, but that differences doesn't make a bad person.
     "Sifir, the blue Knight."
     Someone was behind me.
     It scared me for a second.
     I greeted the pirate, who was sitting next to me.
     "H-Hi, Julian."
     "Hi, Rina."
     I've forgotten about his presence.
     "Is that some kind of book character?" He asked.
     "Sifir, the blue Knight?" I dumbfounded.
     "Yeah. Sifir, the blue Knight."
     "I've never heard that name..," I replied.
     "So do I," he stoically answered. "What should we do then? I know, let's go to the library."
     In a school's festival??
     I don't know what is he thinking.
     "You're making fun of me aren't you, Julian?" I wasn't sure why'd I asked that.
     "Does it look like?" He asked me back.
     "Yeah."
     "Hmm..." It made him think.
     "Maybe I am," he said.
     I don't know how to react, and then he laughed at me.
     "Let's go to the library," Julian said again.
     What is that pretty smiling face?
     My heart was racing faster by a second.
     He was indeed cheating.
     I questioned him, "Why the library?"
     "You can guess," he said.
     "A booth?"
     "But what kind?" he continued.
     "Food?"
     "Are you hungry?"
     "I'm not."
     Julian made his usual laughs again. What a cute sight. I love him.
     I feel like I'm making one of  my weird faces.
     "Rina," he uttered.
     "Yes!"
     I was inside my delusions.
     "Did I made your heart race again?"
     "Ha?"
      Again.
    "I asked if I made your heart race again?"
     He repeated it.
     Strange.
     I began thinking.
     What if... maybe he could—...
     I gradually tell that I'm burning up, yet my chest is uneasy and filled with apprehension. I'm so scared that Julian is playing another trick on me.
     It's racing so fast.
     My hands are shaking...
     My mouth opened on it's own. "Why are you saying those stuff to me?"
     Why did I asked that?
     "Did I say something wrong?" Julian asked.
     "It's nothing— like that...."
     My voice was shrinking.
     Julian patted my head. "It's okay, Rina. You don't need to force yourself if you don't want to," he said.
     Stop.
     I'm thinking about that again.
     "I-I think this is wrong..," I mustered.
     "What do you think is wrong?"
     "This." I pointed both of us.
     "I won't understand if you won't say it clearly, Rina," he said.
    "Y'know what I mean, Julian..."
    "No, I don't."
    "Yes, you do," I bellowed.
    I finally snapped? That was too fast.
    I'm getting the attention of the audience. People started to stare at us. What should I do?
     Julian noticed it quick.
    "Rina, let's do this somewhere else," he said, as he grabbed my wrist.
    I followed him quietly.
    I'm afraid that my lips will say something else.
    He pulled me in a corner, somewhere no one can see or disturb us.
     It looks like we're safe.
     "Rina, are you okay?" He asked, concerned.
     He's being kind to me again. I don't hate it. Actually, I want more of it. But that is so wrong...
     Why is Julian not saying anything?
     Why am I the only one asking questions?
    "This is strange.. Is it me? Or are you.... enduring a lot of things just for me, Julian?"
     I have spoke.
     His wordless reply made me anxious.
    "Why do you think so?" He asked.
    Julian was coming closer.
    My feet were moving backwards. "I... just felt that way..," I struggled.
    "Ehh... So you knew about it," he replied.
    "So I was right? What were you thinking—"
   Julian kissed my forehead.
   I felt his lips touching.
   "Do I need to answer that?" He said with that stoic expression again.
   It was just my head, though I felt that my heart have stopped.
    He was not flustered at all.
    The wall was behind me. I'm cornered, and I don't know where to go.
    I can push Jude, and yet I can't push Julian away from me.
   "Stop it. You're confusing me..," I quivered, my fingers were getting cold.
   "Really? I thought you knew. Aren't you being too cruel. Or do you want me to say it out loud?"
     After I heard that, my face automatically went red that I can't I hide it. I wanted it to stop because he'll notice it right away, and use it against me.
    I covered my face but it was useless.
   Julian sighed.
   "Then I'll tell you if you answer my questions."
    "That's..."
    "Why are you that bothered by me?" He interrogated.
     I'm flushing harder than before.
    "I don't know...," I answered.
    "You don't know, huh..." Julian pored in the ceiling. "Do you know? You're a bad liar."
     "W-What are you saying?!"
     His gazes were numbing.
    "Rina, why are you blushing so hard now?"
    His breath was close.
    "I'm not blushing-!"
    He interrupted fast...
    "Are you nervous?"
    "I'm... I'm not! Please stop asking me these questions!"
     I clenched my hand as hard as I can.
    "Why? Am I stirring you up?" He continued.
    "Julian!"
    I bellowed his name.
    I felt very sick. I found it hard to breathe.
    "Y-You... You didn't answer one of my questions... so you have no right to ask me more..."
    What does he thinks about me now?
    I'm being inpatient.
    "Why are you constantly teasing me now? Why are you acting like this? I just don't get it."
     "Why don't you get it? Isn't this what you want?"
     It stings.
     "What are you saying? You don't even know much about me except the fact that I like books. You might not also know this, but I don't really like playing push and pull. I-I haven't—"
     "Okay," he said. "I should say it then."
     Julian made a step farther that it caught me by surprise.
     "Rina, I know that you still like me. Did that answer your question?"