Being Next to You - Always there

julian - sunken ship

     I'm confused.
     I really don't know how to react to these kinds of situations.
She is staring at me, waiting outside the door. Her silhouette shows, and the smell of the clinic was always odd.
     The way I responded when she grabbed my wrist was different on how I treated the school nurse— they're both girls.
     It left an erratic sensation which I don't understand.
     When I reacted on pain because of my injured hand, she reacts. Yet the way she handles it annoys me, so I tried not to look at her in the whole treatment part. It wanted me to hide under a hole instead.
     As soon as it was done, the color of rare pink roses displayed on her cheeks. It was rather attractive, at the same time, kinda irritating.
     Standing by, next to the door where she stands, trying to surprise her, giving a little scare, I said, "It would be nice if you'll stop grinning."
     She wasn't surprised.
     I was surprised by her reply.
     "But you were so cute," she says.
     I didn't expect that.
     I wanted to return to the clinic. I'm afraid that, this isn't desirable for the coronary heart.
     "Want me to say sorry?" she suggested. She was already reflecting.
I looked at Rina.
     "Is it sincere?" I asked.
     She nodded.
     "I don't need it," I sighed, it was rather deep. "All of your apologies are sincere. And..."
     "And?"
     She repeated with curious eyes.
     I stopped, and she was dying to know why.
     "And..."
     My eyes were looking in another direction...
     "Man, I'm so uncool today..." I suddenly gasped, I kept on wondering if it was loud.
     I stammered a few times, I was hesitating. But she says:
     "Nah, you're cool."
     "To me I guess," she adds.
     MY HEART WAS RACING.
     I pinched her nose with my other hand.
     'That felt dangerous...'
     "Stop flattering," I sounded annoyed, and then, realizing the fact that I wasn't.
     I can sense that she was about to apologize again, so I cut her in before she says that "s" word— and thinking back, I was rather rude.
     "I'll take you back to your classroom, okay?" I told her.
     I wonder if she heard me. She's just staring at my face— a bit bothering. "Okay?" I repeated, not letting go of her nose.
     "Okay," she said. Her nose feels stuff, I've forgotten to let go.
     "Sorry. Your nose turned pink." Now, I'm the one who's apologizing.
     I know her nose is pink, but so as her whole face. Her eyes kept on averting, and there was like a dozen exclamation marks on top of her head.
     She was trying to hide it with her hands, but I pulled them away 'cause, it feels like I'm being avoided.
     And then, I forgot, we were not dating anymore.
     So her reaction is normal, and I'm the weird one. Why am I acting out?
     After that, we're just walking, quietly walking to her homeroom.
     I wonder what can I say to start a conversation.
     But what made me hesitated was her obvious flushing face.
     If I tried to talk, she will jump out off her horse, and then, apologized to me after.
     I wanted her to minimize those apologies.
     Then again, that is one of her characteristics that makes her "Rina."
     And I might offend her.
     "Hey," I tried a slow approach. It caught her attention, and I said, "Are you sure about tonight?"
     "Why?" She questioned.
     "Well," a small paused, "I don't know. Pretend that I didn't ask.."
     'That was a 'pointless' question,' I scolded myself.
     Just then, she made that sort of expression. I've already predicted that, yet it was still difficult how to make it not look bad...
      I can't look at her. I kinda felt guilty, and I think she noticed it. She has a habit of fidgeting her hair when she's nervous— to be honest, I believed that the majority of her habits was caused by her anxiety. And I think it's because of me.
     What to do?
     "Umm-" I heard her voice coming out, it suddenly made me a bit jumpy.
     "Y-Yeah?"
     Her eyes were wandering. When our eyes meet, she quickly looks away. It was easy to understand that she was avoiding my face— I wish I didn't notice it.
     "What- time?"
     A questioned came out— it was smart of her. She moved one step closer to me. Her face was definitely red, she was covering it with her hands but her ears were blazing.
     "I might- not be available if... it's late. But- I can make it... if we go around at six o clock. But I don't think there will be stars at that time..."
     "Okay."
     I...
     I have always wonder, why is her voice shaking if she's talking to me?
     "Then, is it okay to take you home at seven?" I replied.
      I wonder what face I was making, because... I can see her face properly right now. Though, I feel a bit sunk. A sunken ship under the depths of the sea.
     It feels heavy.
     Her face catches my attention again, it looks like she wants to say something. "Can you- wait for me?"
     I'm dumbfounded.
     "Here?" I asked, and she nodded.
     By instincts, I chucked. I covered my face with my hair and another hand to make it not noticeable. But I still don't know why did I was laughing.
     Her facial expressions were always so obvious, she looks worried.
     I patted her head, stroking her black hair gently. It was always have been soft since I've touched it. I hope she does not mind.
     "See you later," I said.
     "Y-Yes! But I might be a little late!! And it might bother your hand!!!" She exclaimed. Her face never gets tired of blushing, and she was concerned in my injury.
     "It's okay, it won't bother it."
     I think it's okay to mirth.