Chapter no. 25

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"Where is it. Where is it. Where is it." I rambled as my sight moved on the sky looking for Cresent.

I remembered last year, I had celebrated Eid back at home.

"What are you looking for?" My eyes went wide as I saw Arsal standing super close to me, he stared down at me.

His breathe Fanning my face, I was at the lost of words.

"I-i, Moon." I said.

He smiled faintly and looked up, he hand tracing the distance as he pointed upward. My eyes trailed through his arm and reached at the moon.

My arm also pointed upward as I looked at it.
"Here is it." I whispered smiling at Arsal.

He put his hand on my eyes and said.
"Wish something." He said.

Creases formed on my forehead as I thought what should I wish.

Let the best happen for me, Allah Almighty. Let the best happen for him. For Hashir. Let the best happen for both of us.
I thought in my head, and my heart whispered the lines.

"Hey, What did you wish?" I asked Arsal.

He just smiled and whispered.
"One shouldn't tell what he wishes."

I chuckled and nodded.

"You let your hairs free." He noticed.

I shied away letting my head down. I nodded.

"I should go back," I said pointing to my room. He nodded and left.

I entered the room and saw Sarah packing her bag.

She looked up to see me and pouted, Sadness written all over her face.

"I still don't know why ain't you going." She muttered.

I sighed.

"I've told you before-"

"Tania is going to kill me." She Mumbled cutting me off in mid-sentence.

I helped her pack her bag.

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After praying, I sat leisurely looking at nothing.

I started.
"I don't know what to do. It's been a year since I've come here yet I've not been able to forget him. Allah Tala."

I looked up with teary eyes.

"I-i. It's isn't a sin to love someone who isn't my spouse. Yet I still do. Allah Tala, my love is pure. I don't have wrong or bad intentions but I still feel like I shouldn't be loving him."

I drifted off. After a long pause I continued.

"I don't ask him to be in my fate. Because he'd hate me if I somehow get married to him. Not someone he wants to. Allah Tala, I can bear anything with his hatred, his anger." I said.

"I'm at the lose of words. You know better. You know what I need right now. You know what I want Right. You know what is best for me. Who else knows, Allah Tala? No one. Only you. I'm not able to say anything. Because I don't know what I feel, what I want to utter out."

I smiled.

"Allah Tala, I don't wanna remember him. I've given up trying and trying all these months. I'm tired. Allah Tala."

I stopped.

"I don't wanna love him."

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