Yesterday in counselling my counsellor said that maybe the reason I have so much lost time, from the last few weeks, is because I'm repressing the thoughts and feelings connected to the time I got abused. I don't know if that is right because I don't remember, but it is possible I was thinking about my trauma and then repressing it. I would make sense. I haven't thought about those horrible experiences for a long time. I want to forget they ever happened to me but they are always on my mind at the moment. Last night I completely broke down, thinking about how I could have stopped him, how I shouldn't be allowed to feel sorry for myself or traumatised or sad about it. It was my fault that it happened and people have gone through much worse. I kept thinking about how he was drunk and delirious and doesn't remember it, but if it all came out and he did remember I couldn't cope. If he remembered and knew what he was doing I don't know what I would do.
I kept thinking about how no matter how much therapy I get I will always have those memories and nothing is gonna change that it happened. No matter what stage of recovery I'm at I'm always gonna be a victim of emotional, physical and sexual abuse.
I think I'm ready to die.
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My Journey To Normality (Part 2)
Short Story•This is a story based on true events about someone who is on their journey to recovery from mental illness. Their questioning of gender and sexuality. Going through relationships and break ups. Just an all about coming of age story of a person that...
