First entry of the new year. Wish I could say I'm happy about that but I don't want to be here. My plan got delayed because of work again, I will be going through with in this weekend though.
Anyway... I've been thinking and I know my sister will be better off without me. She's still not talking to me and considering she's the most important person to me I feel horrible. I don't regret sending my Father the message though, it needed to be said. It was playing on my mind a lot but after speaking to one of the girls from work about it I feel better. I told her everything and showed her the message and she said I did nothing wrong.
The problem is that my sister has been protected from everything her entire life, that may be my fault as I am the one who protected her. She didn't see all the abuse and hurt that was caused by my Father and she still clings to this false image of him. Even though she knows I've tried to kill myself and she knows it's because of my Mother, Father and Step Father she refuses to acknowledge it. Maybe because it's too painful to acknowledge that your parents have pushed your sibling to harm themselves, I don't know. Maybe because she only cares about herself or maybe because my Mother and Father have brainwashed her so much that she believes all their lies. Daddy has told her that I'm mean and that's what she wants to believe.
I guess I should just be satisfied that she didn't turn out like me, that she can enjoy life without seeing how evil it is. I was there for her her entire life and she may not be grateful or even acknowledge that but that doesn't matter. She's eighteen now and she needs to learn from her own experiences, if that means getting hurt then that's okay. I may not be there for her anymore but I can give her one last thing.
Money.
When I die she gets all my money and she can use that to move out. Maybe she can use it to go back to school, travel or whatever. It will make her life a little bit better. That's all I care about. My life has been dedicated to helping others and if my death can help her then it's worth it.
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My Journey To Normality (Part 2)
Cerita Pendek•This is a story based on true events about someone who is on their journey to recovery from mental illness. Their questioning of gender and sexuality. Going through relationships and break ups. Just an all about coming of age story of a person that...
