𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 [𝗻𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻] ✓

0.8

0.8
[jaemin]
—

i lay in my bed with closed eyes drowning in my thoughts. jeno came over today, we acted like nothing happened. not a big deal right?

everyone would think that's a good thing right? then why don't i think that? i think it's a good thing, but i wanted to talk about it. i wish i could ask jeno to forget everything, that would make me feel better.

we are cool now, but there is this unspoken tension between us. i don't like it. it feels like i can snap at any moment. i don't lash out fast, but these times i feel rushed. if that even makes sense.

it probably doesn't. i sigh and open my eyes. i stare at the white ceiling. is it possible to become a ceiling? you don't have to worry about anything besides trying not to fall apart.

we're not that different, the ceiling and i are both trying not to break. i scoff. i sound pathetic. i can't compare myself with a goddamn wall. this is why i need more sleep.

i turn around and close my eyes. when they are closed i see jeno. his brown messy hair and his smile when i pass him the brown paper bag. i can't deny it, he looked cute.

i always found the boy cute. i always smile when he pouts or when he ruffles his hair. everyone would agree with me because jeno has cute habits.

i like how his ears turn red when he's shy or embarrassed. a smile creeps on my face when i think of it.

after replaying all the cute habits of the boy i think back at the kiss. his ears also turned red when we pulled back.

i pull the covers over my head and lay my head in the pillow. can i stop thinking about how good of a kisser jeno is and how i want to do it again? i'm starting to worry about myself, i keep having these thoughts.

thoughts about kissing your best friend is weird. especially when he has a girlfriend and is straight.

my face darkens when i think of minsun. she's annoying, i have a feeling that she doesn't want jeno at all. she just wants him for the popularity, just because jeno is pretty popular in school.

i bet everyone is talking about the "power couple". they're not that powerful and they're not that cute. i bet if i was together with jeno we would be more popular. besides, the real "power couple" is mark and donghyuck.

i smile when i think of the two. the relationship of the two is adorable. they always look cool and they're not disgustingly cute or clingy, since mark doesn't like skin ship that much.

it's cute how donghyuck always rests his head in mark's shoulder, or how he always plays with the ear of the older. or how mark always lays a hand on donghyuck's thigh.

if i had to be honest, i'm a little bit jealous at them. they found each other and became a couple and they love each other. i want a relationship like that. even though mark and hyuck always bicker with each other, they sound like a married couple, i want that too.

but no, i'm still single. of course, i had boyfriends before. they didn't work out i guess.

—

[a/n]
sorry this is short, i had to study real quick. i'm going to fuck up another test. but maybe my braincells will work for one sec, please work with the biology test.

braincells: we'll see