𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 [𝗻𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻] ✓

2.8

2.8
[jeno]
—

waking up in jaemin's arms is probably the best thing that ever happened to me. i feel myself crawling closer to the boy.

i did it without our thinking about it. it's weird, it really is. jaemin is making me confused and i don't like it, but at the same time i want him to continue making me confused.

i remember everything from last night. i look up to his neck. the red and slightly purple mark standing out against his skin. i trace my fingers against it, a smile finds it's way on my face.

it's mine, i made that. if is say that i don't want him to cover it up, would it be bad?

i sigh and close my eyes, resting my head against his chest. i like the feeling of this, i like it more than i should. maybe i want this every day.

but i can't, minsun will tell the whole school i'm gay. i don't know if i'm gay, even if i was, i wouldn't be ready for the whole school to know it.

i don't think i look at boys like that. i mean yeah, sometimes they are really hot and they make me feel something inside. but i don't think i'll ever see them romantically.

but jaemin. jaemin is different, he makes me see him in a romantic way. he makes me imagine what it's like being together with him.

i actually see myself being together with the boy. i want to be with him. because i like him, i like him a lot.

i never knew i would say this, but i want to be with him so badly it hurts. the feeling of wanting something so bad and you just can't reach it. you stretch out your arm till it hurts, but it's still too far away.

i wish i could break up with her, i don't feel good when i'm with her. i don't like the way she touches my arm, or when she pecks me. i can't look at minsun the same, knowing she hurt my best friend.

i don't want to be together with someone that hurts a best friend mentally like that. maybe i need to break with her.

i know i should and it's not healthy being in a relationship so toxic like this, but i'm way too scared to do it.

'are you awake?' a raspy voice says. i nod, my eyes still closed. 'did have a good night sleep?' i nod again. 'that's good, do you feel any better?'

i ignore his question and look up to him. 'do you remember last night?' jaemin nods slowly with a blush. 'don't cover it up,' i mumble.

jaemin leans forward. 'what'd you say?' i clear my throat. 'don't cover the hickey up,' i repeat myself. jaemin chuckles. 'and why would i do that?'

'it's mine, i made it. i want to see it and it suits you good,' i answers with a red face. jaemin holds me tighter and my stomach feels like exploding. the wave of happiness flowing trough everything in my body.

'then i'll leave it like this.' i nod and smile. there is a unspoken silence between us. it's not awkward, we just both want to ask the same question.

it doesn't take long for jaemin to speak up. 'jeno, what are we?' i stiffen in the boys arms. 'i mean, do you want to be with me?'

do i want to be with jaemin? i mean, i can see us together and his visuals are no joke. he makes me want to squish his cheeks at the most random times possible.

i want play with his hair, i want do peck him on his lips when he least expects it. i want to tell him he's beautiful, even when he just came out bed.

'yes, i want to be with you.'

jaemin pulls back from the hug and looks at me. 'do you really mean that?' he asks. i nod slowly. 'why would be lying?' i say and crack a little smile.

jaemin's eyes light up. 'you really do mean it!' he says loudly. he grabs my face and presses his lips on mine. i melt at the touch.

i realize that i like jaemin a lot. i've always liked him more then a friend, but i pushed the thoughts away so deeply that i never noticed it.

jaemin runs his hands through my hair and it feels so good. jaemin pulls back and look me in the eyes. i crack a smile. 'i can get used to this,' i bring out with my ears all red.

jaemin face falls. 'your still cheating,' he whispers. the smile glides off my face too. 'i know, i want to break up with her.' i see jaemin looking at me, i can't read his expression. 'i really do,' i say to him.

'but i'm scared, i'm straight.' jaemin sighs. 'but i guess i can be gay for you,' i continue. jaemin snorts and begins to laugh really hard. 'jeno, that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard,' he hiccups.

i post my finger at him. 'well you better accept it, i'm only gay for you na jaemin.' jaemin nods still laughing. then he becomes silent again.

'does this mean that you are going to break up with minsun?' he asks then. i bite my lip. i want to be with jaemin, because i like him.

if i really want it, i need to break up with her. she can't stop me from being with jaemin. the boy makes me so happy, like i'm floating on clouds.

i smile through my pain. 'yes, i'm going to break up with her,' i answer. jaemin nods slowly and pulls me in a hug when he sees me blinking away the tears.

his arms are tightly wrapped around me, making me feel safe. 'i know how hard it must be for you, i'm really proud.' i nod, letting a few tears escape without a sound.

'i know your scared, but i'm always here for you, till the end. don't forget that okay?' i nod again. jaemin pulls me back and wipes the tears away.

'don't be scared for the good things that'll come.'

—

[a/n]
i hate mornings so much.