𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 [𝗻𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻] ✓

1.6

1.6
[jaemin]
—

the thought of liking jeno never really crossed my mind. not when i was younger, or when i told him i was gay.

i never saw my best friend like that. that can't change, right? after so many years being friends, it can't change so suddenly.

one stupid kiss shouldn't make a difference.

we kissed. that's it, nothing more and nothing less.

i may have liked the kiss. fuck, i definitely liked it. i remember pulling back and hoping he would kiss me again.

but he didn't. jeno is already taken by minsun, a girl. and i'm a boy. he's straight, he likes girls.

but why does he keep kissing me if he is? why does he keep coming over?

i feel my stomach growl. i sigh, it's 3am and i'm getting hungry. the thinking is making me hungry, is that even possible?

i jump out of my bed and tiptoe downstairs. i don't want to wake my parents. would they be mad at me if i'd tell them i was the reason someone cheated?

i would. i don't want my kid being the reason someone cheated. unless they did it without knowing. but yeah, i guess i would be mad. i would wanted my kid to be responsible for these kinds of things.

if jeno comes over again, i can't kiss him and he can't kiss me. i'm not his girlfriend, heck, i'm not even a girl.

i'm not a girl, i'm not pretty like minsun. fuck, i'm not even attractive. this is why i never have serious relationships. i'm not attractive enough.

i grab the snickers and sigh. should i eat this? i don't want to get fat, maybe i should put it back.

i hear a loud thud and i flinch. 'na jaemin, what are you doing in the kitchen?' a voice says.

i turn around slowly, hiding the snickers behind my back. 'i can't sleep,' i answer. the short woman walks up to me. 'is there something on your mind?'

i shake my head. the woman raises her eyebrows. 'then why are you hiding the bag of snickers behind your back?' my eyes widen.
'snickers? i don't know the snickers?' my mother sighs and takes the bag out of my hand.

'you always get hungry when you are thinking too much,' she says. we both sit down on the couch. 'what's on your mind, you can tell me everything.'

i sigh and look at my hands. it wouldn't hurt telling someone. 'i-i'm really confused,' i stutter out.

'and why is that?' i shrug and blink, trying to hold back my emotions. i don't want to cry. my mother pats me on my back, like she did when i was five.

'i don't know, i think i like someone,' i mumble. 'that's a good thing, right?' i shake my head. 'i think i don't want to like that person.'

'ah, but you can't control who you like.' i nod slowly. 'you know that right?' i nod again. i feel tears forming in my eyes.

'it's just, he's already taken and i don't want to get hurt, besides i don't have any change with him,' i blurt out.

'everything happened so fast, i didn't have enough time to let everything sink in and now i'm so confused!'

i break down in my mother's arms. i let all my tears fall. hot, salty tears rolling over my cheeks.

i've kept all my emotions locked up and it feels so good releasing everything. it feels even better to tel someone close everything.

like a weight was lifted of your shoulders.

'who is this person you like?' with that question asked i begin to cry even harder. 'it's okay honey.'

i cry and cry. what seems like forever, the sobs slowly stopped. the tears stopped flowing and the only thing that remained where the hiccups.

'did you cry everything out?' i nod at my mother's question. 'now, if you cry this hard about him, you know that you like him without a doubt,' she says.

i stay silent. she's right. i like him without a doubt. even if i don't want to, i can't help it.

'i like jeno,' i mumble. my mother nods. 'we both knew it would happen someday.' i bite my lip and nod.

she's right. i even had a crush on donghyuck. i knew it would happen, but i still let it happen.

'is jeno already taken?' i nod. 'by a girl named minsun,' i answer. the female gasps. 'isn't that the girl he liked for a long time?' i nod again.

'if you really like him, you should be happy for the boy. maybe you can't be happy with him, but you can let him be happy.'

'but if he's happy, why does he keep kissing me?'

—

[a/n]
wow i had no inspiration for this chapter, but then mono came out and bOoM