Langst oneshots? Probably.

Lance says something the paladins find fishy.

Made by: ??? on ???

Lance had a diary. Everyone on the ship knew. The only thing they didn't know is where he kept it. They've looked and looked and they can't find it.

They would look at security cameras and Lance would always be going somewhere then disappear. Lance was great at hiding his diary.

One day, when Lance snuck away to hide his diary, Pidge made a plan to follow him. Pidge had quickly run the idea by the paladins and, in a moment of curiosity, they allowed it.

So, Pidge followed Lance through corridor and corridor and room to room. Until Lance stopped in a large room, the walls were all screens.

Images played on each screen, Pidge recognized a few of the people. Lance's family. The screens showed images of Lance's family. Lance smiled at them sadly.

Pidge almost felt bad for intruding on this but curiosity was blocking every other emotion. Pidge kept watching.

Lance looked at the photos for a few more minutes before looking at the ground. He smiled sadly and Pidge saw teardrops fall to the ground.

Pidge felt a pang in her heart and left. If Lance didn't want to share with them where his diary is, then the team shouldn't snoop. Pidge turned and left.

What Lance did after that was unknown to Pidge and Pidge wasn't planning to tell the team what she had already saw. The team shouldn't know. She shouldn't put Lance out like that.

So, she didn't. The team had asked where she went that day and she wouldn't answer. She'd deflect the question, ignore it, and anything else to get out of answering it. And eventually, the team stopped asking.

After a while, Hunk got curious. He couldn't help it, he wanted to know. So, he followed Lance down hallways and through rooms until he was watching Lance look at his parents.

Hunk felt bad when he saw Lance look down, he felt bad for Lance. But he didn't leave. He kept watching.

When Lance looked up again, he swiped away the photo of his family. He opened his mouth and spoke clearly, "hey, guys. I'm back
again—."

Hunk stepped back without any noise. He realized what he was doing and realized that he wouldn't be doing this. This was wrong and Lance was his friend. Lance wouldn't do this to him, so why should Hunk do it to Lance.

Hunk left without a word. He never spoke about what he saw and learned. No one else needed to know.

Lance was never informed about the others knowing where he stood. Where he spoke what he thought. Lance didn't know that two of the paladins knew where he'd spill his guts and feelings.

And neither of the paladins planned on him knowing that information. They'd feel really bad. I mean, they were Lance's friends, they couldn't do that to him.

One day, Allura got fed up with Lance's secrets. Allura thought that there should be no secrets between the team. Everyone should know everything about the others. Lance was no exception.

So, Allura followed Lance. Allura felt a little sympathy when Lance looked at his family photos but Allura didn't leave. Allura needed to know what Lance was keeping secret.

"Uh, hey again. I don't know how formal I'm supposed to do there things. Even after I've been doing them for so long," Lance smiles to himself.

He's crying, Allura can see that. But Allura doesn't leave. Not yet. Allura wanted to know. Allura craves information and craved all of Lance's secrets.

She had done this for the rest of the team but for smaller things. For Pidge's real gender. For any juicy secrets that Allura could get her hands on.

Lance looks down at his hands and continues, "so, uh. I just wanted to say stuff, I guess. I've been thinking about life and things like that. How I've been treated by the others. Stuff like that.

"I just. What will happen after this all finishes? What will happen if this never ends? Why do my teammates treat it as if everything is now? Not now, Lance! We have to do this now, Lance!

"I'm tired of this! Think about later! What about later?! What would happen if I did it now?! I've asked this to you before, to the no one listening!

"What would happen if I died? If I died right now?! What about later? What would the paladins do later? What would happen later?! I want to know!"

Allura continued watching. Lance was shaking. Lance was sobbing and Allura wondered how they hadn't heard him before.

When Lance eventually got ahold of himself he let out a a shaky breath.

"The Paladin have practically been drilling it into my brain. Slowly and silently planting it into my head until the words repeat over and over again."

Allura wondered what it could be. What did Lance have drilled into his brain? What had the paladins made Lance believe? What, oh, what did Lance take from the other paladins words?

Lance let out a sad, broken laugh, "in this world it either kill your self or get killed."

Allura gasped and heard a gasp from behind her. She jumped back in fear and was standing in the doorway to the room Lance was in.

The other paladins stood there, all listening to Lance's words. They were all shocked, scared for Lance's mental health. They all froze.

Hunk snapped out of it first and rushed over to Lance, pulling the boy into a hug. Keith followed, Coran after that. Then Pidge ran over, Shiro following.

Allura stood there. Had the others heard it all? Had they? Allura didn't know. But Allura joined the group hug anyway, holding to god they did.

Allura would later find out that they didn't. They didn't even know what was said by Lance that day. They didn't hear anything.

A freezing planet. A fishing trip. And Lance being found dead at the bottom of the lake. The others guessed that t wasn't a suicide. That he simply got trapped under the ice. It wasn't his fault.

Allura knew better but Allura didn't say. Lance didn't get trapped. Lance jumped in. Lance moved under the ice. Lance purposefully didn't get out.

Lance was swimming with the fishes. Lance said something fishy. Allura knew the parallels.