Loki: Winds of Winter

Chapter 12 - Fears & Failures Resurface

Helbindi insisted that Loki and Sansa stay the night and attend a feast in their honor and to declare a crisis in Westeros, for which the Jotuns were being summoned. The feast was held in the great hall with fluorescent crystals lighting the space. A large one hung in the center of the room and cast rainbow colors and sparkles about the room. Exotic Jotun entertainers twirled about, sending snowflakes dancing about from the palms of their hands. As Loki sat at the head table next to his brother and his queen and his wife, he saw that many smaller giants were walking about the room. Runts. He leaned over and said, "So, Helbindi... I see you implemented that law we spoke of last time I was here." Helbindi looked up before glancing around himself, and nodded.

"Yes, I have. All runts from around Jotunheim have been taken from their families and brought here for safe keeping and to be educated. You couldn't imagine some of the conditions my guards found them in before they brought them here. Some Jotuns still don't understand that runts are sacred and delicate creatures," Helbindi answered.

"Don't let Tanaya hear you see that," Opal warned and Loki was about to ask who Tanaya was when a beautiful female runt approached the table. She was wearing trousers, boots, and a corset vest with a fur trim collar. Her hair was white as snow and her eyes blood red. Her tribal and familial markings were accentuated by white tattoos tracing over them. She bowed to the royal family and Loki as well.

"Your majesties. I have heard that Crown Prince Halden has requested to accompany General Nadir to Westeros. Of course, I expect to be with him if you agree," the young runt stated. Loki blinked a couple of times as he processed what she was saying, or rather, demanding of her king. He glanced at Helbindi and saw that his younger brother was smiling.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from my son's bodyguard and future wife," Helbindi responded and Loki had to swallow his own gasp of astonishment. When did this happen?!

Tanaya bowed again with a, "My king," and walked away, her hand resting on her hip. Loki's eyes followed her until he saw her meet his nephew. Prince Halden leaned down and whispered in her ear. She smacked his shoulder and walked away, and he grinned.

"So when did this happen?" Loki asked as he glanced at Helbindi with a raised eyebrow. Helbindi chuckled and his eyebrows waggled.

"Since I made her Halden's bodyguard. She was a little feral when she first came to us; she was abandoned in the icy mountains of Oldor and she was living it 'rough'. General Nadir had to be brought in to apprehend her and bring her back. She bit him and almost clawed out his eye. She was about seven when we found her. She was house trained, educated, and taught to fight proper. Halden was the first friend she made, and it just went from there," Helbindi admitted. He smiled a little. "She was a better choice than some dimwitted noble's daughter. Speaking of marriages, or at least betrothals... when are any of my nieces and nephews going to get married?" Helbindi challenged. Loki leaned back in his chair and shook his finger at Helbindi.

"If my wife had her way, they would already be married. I would prefer them to wait a while and marry for love than anything else. Of all my offspring, I'm more concerned about who Ragna will eventually wed," Loki responded. Helbindi nodded his head in agreement.

"Yes, indeed! She's more likely to eviscerate a potential suitor than accept his offer of marriage. He must have a will of, what do you call it? Valerian steel and the patience of a Midgardian saint," Helbindi joked and Loki sighed. He knew the bastard would need more than that to survive Ragna.

Not long after, Loki saw Sansa leave the feast and said that they would retire to their chambers. The following day, they would return to Westeros and tell Daenerys of Helbindi's decision.

When Loki returned to their room, he found Sansa sitting on the bed, her knees pulled up under her chin and concealed by her sky-blue nightgown. "Just tired, my love?" Loki asked. Sansa turned to him, her eyes filled with unshed tears and her lips quivering. "Sansa?" Loki sat down beside her and enveloped her in his embrace. Sansa still did not cry and remained silent. "What's wrong? Please tell me what has you so upset?" he begged.

"Opal is giving Helbindi another child. Another royal baby is going to be welcomed on Jotunheim in less than a year," Sansa whispered finally as a few tears slid down her cheeks. Loki realized what she was talking about and he sighed, gently rocking her back and forth.

"I understand why you're upset, but you should not be. You know that you are not to blame," Loki told her. Sansa put her hands against his chest and pushed him away, looking up at him.

Her hands touched his face and stroked his cheekbones as she said, "But I am! I am the one at fault! It's not you! Your virility has never been in question; you've had five other children before you married me. I've given you four, but I could have given you more, if my womb had not betrayed me," Sansa told him sorrowfully.

"Sansa," Loki said before he pressed his lips to hers. When they parted, Loki put his forehead against her own. "I am not disappointed in you. You haven't failed in your wifely duties. You've given me two boys and two girls. You've secured the safety of my bloodline and I thank you for that. But more importantly, I thank you for giving me four healthy children, who, despite the challenges they have presented us with, have been the greatest joy in our lives. You cannot say you have failed," Loki informed her. Sansa shuddered a little as she played with Loki's collar.

"But, my mother gave my father five children, and the reason they stopped with Rickon was because she was too old to have children," she pointed out.

"First of all, your mother was a demon, the gods not rest her soul! And they won't strike me down for saying that," Loki hissed, recalling his mother-in-law. She had always been a problem, even till the very end. She criticized Loki and Sansa for allowing Rhaenar so much freedom, and for letting Ragna become a warrior. She passed away when Rhaenar and Ragna were in their late teens, and Dhaerin and Dagmar were still rather young. Loki had made a point to not attend the funeral, and no one in House Frostborn sent their condolences. It caused an uproar in social circles, but Robb made a statement, saying that his mother had never been kind to Loki, or his children, so they were not obligated to show their respect. And since Sansa was Loki's wife, she was not required to either, even though she was her daughter. Jon had not gone to the funeral either, so only four of the Stark children had attended. In the end, everyone knew better than to challenge Loki's decision to not become involved in the whole affair. "Sansa, you are ten times more than your mother ever could have been. Never doubt what you've accomplished and who you are. I've seen what self-doubt can do to a person, and I don't want that to happen to you," Loki told her. He pulled Sansa back and kissed her deeply. Sansa clung to him as he untied the threads of her nightgown and slowly removed it from her shoulders. The cloth pooled around her waist and Loki pressed her bare bosom against his leather surcoat. Sansa shook as the cool leather came into contact with her warm skin.

Loki laid her down on the fur covers and proceeded to kiss his way down her throat, lingering along her clavicles before traveling down to her breasts. His one arm slid under her waist and forced her lower body against his. Loki ground against her as he suckled and Sansa moaned, gripping the fur in her hands. When Loki pulled away for air, he raised his head to look at her. Sansa's chest was heaving and she was already sweating. There was a beautiful blush that was coloring her cheeks and neck. She glanced down at him and smiled. "Stop at your own peril," she warned him.

"That's the Sansa I know," Loki commented before he surged forward, capturing her lips with his.