finding you

thirty five

I wake up feeling tired. I still feel exhausted from last night. My legs are intertwined with Rhys's and his arm rests heavily on my side. I can tell he's still in a deep because his breaths are even and heavy. I stare up at the ceiling and wonder what time it is. The light from the basement windows is bright enough to tell me it's probably late morning. I should get up and go home... but I really don't want to.

I turn to my side to look at him. I'm careful not to make too much movement so he doesn't wake up. I don't want him to wake up yet. I look carefully at his face. I've never seen him look so vulnerable. His hair is a tousled mess on his head, scattered in every direction possible against his pillow. His mouth is slightly open, plumping his lips out which makes them look almost as full as mine. He looks so young right now. So boyish. So helpless. 

Okay, so he's like tortuously cute.

But.

But he still was a part of all that stuff that happened with Brooke. He said those things to her... I think he did, anyway. Who else could it have been?

Ughh.

I huff out a breath and look at Rhys again. He has such long eyelashes. I've never noticed them before. How is it possible for one to be even more alluring when sleeping? My heart swells at the feeling of him holding me. I'm not sure what exactly was decided last night, but I know that we left a whole lot of things unsaid. I want to believe that he didn't say those things about me. But can I honestly trust him? It seems like he's one way with me when we're alone and then another when he's around people.

I'm no expert at dating guys or anything but I'm pretty sure that's not a good sign. Shit.

I huff again and this time he stirs, groaning as his arms flex around me before moving them off to stretch. His eyes slowly open and they land on me right away. We stare at each other for a few moments. How can I possibly look away from eyes like his? Dear God. 

I'm suddenly at a loss for words. I'm already being awkward and we just woke up.

"Hey." He rasps, a smile slowly appearing on his face the longer he looks at me.

"Hi..." 

"You watchin' me sleep or somethin'?" He smirks and brings his arm back around me to pull me close. These small actions are what do it for me. It's like he has no idea what he's doing to me. Honest to God he doesn't. 

"No." I blush, looking away from his eyes. He chuckles quietly.

"Damn. I bet you were just blushing like that all morning. How charming can I be asleep?"

Surprisingly... pretty damn charming, Rhys.

"Funny." I deadpan before rolling my eyes and giggling. 

"You're fucking killing me." He suddenly groans while squeezing my side.

"What?"

He doesn't respond and just looks at me, smiling as if he's listening to me say something really brilliant but I'm actually saying absolutely nothing. What's going on in that head of his?

"I think you might run away if I told you."

"What?"

Suddenly I hear my phone go off. It's on the floor beside me so luckily I don't have to get up off the bed. I reach down and grab it. It's just a text from Ron telling me to call her. I quickly tell her I'm fine and that I'll call her later before I open my Instagram to scroll through my feed. My stomach turns when I see a picture from last night with Brooke in it. Brooke and her 'squad' are posing in front of a keg and they're shotgunning beers. It looks like they're having the best time ever. It's weird how they so naturally make the party seem a lot cooler than it was. A sudden pang of jealousness hits me. I've always wondered what it would be like to have everyone like me and want to know about my life. To have enough friends to make a squad.