finding you

forty nine

"I accepted my enrollment to SU."

Ronnie stops her scrolling for a moment to put down her phone. "What? Are you serious? That's amazing, T! You didn't even tell me you got accepted!"

"Yeah. I know. I just wasn't sure what I wanted to do yet. I knew if you knew, you would probably accept the spot for me." I laugh. She eyes me for a moment before rolling her eyes and laughing with me.

"You're probably right. I totally would have."

We're sitting on my bed just hanging out. It's a little bit after noon and the sun is shining. It's calling me to go do something outside.

"Have you told Rhys?"

"No. Why would I?"

She gives me a double-take. "Because he goes to SU? How is he going to feel just running into you on campus when he didn't even know were a student? You're crazy."

Ugh. She's right. I blow out a groan and lay back on the bed. "I don't want him to think I'm like following him. I applied to this school way before anything happened with him."

"Yes, and he'll know that. He's not going to think that! I think he'll be stoked that you're there. He really likes you, T. You should have seen him after you left Ashton's. He kept asking me to call you to make sure you were okay."

'Yeah, because he called me his mom. He felt bad."

She starts laughing and I narrow my eyes at her. Okay, so when I say it out loud it does sound kind of funny. "I still don't understand that. But dude, he was on some shit."

"You think it was something other than alcohol?"

She just shrugs at me and looks back at her phone. "It's not like he's a druggy, but he's no straight-edge player either."

Why would he do that? Why on earth would he turn to drugs after what happened to his brother? I can't wrap my head around that. 

"I think you should talk to him."

"Me? Why?"

She tosses her phone to the side again and looks me straight in the eyes. "Theo. If you like him, you need to tell him. He doesn't know what you're thinking."

I exhale and look down at my nails. I haven't picked them in a while. They actually are starting to look good. I can get them done soon.

"I know I told you to stay away from him- that he's not good for you and all that, but I've never seen him be the way is with you. Not Brooke, not any girl."

I raise an eyebrow at her. "Are you trying to tell me he's a changed man? That I'm changing him?" My voice is thick with skepticism. I release a laugh that I've been holding.

"God, Theo." She rolls her eyes but grins. "I'm just trying to tell you that if you like him, you have a chance at something here. But he needs to know. Otherwise..."

"Otherwise what? He'll lose interest? He'll go call up Brooke?"

"That's not what I'm saying- "

"Because if he thinks I don't like him because I'm not sleeping with him..."

Ron's eyes widen a bit. "What? Theo, he knows you're not like Brooke. He knows you're..."

"A virgin? Brooke made sure he knew. God, I hate her."

I hear Ron sigh. She lays beside me and lightly pats her hand on mine. "My point is he likes you. He likes you the way you are. It has nothing to do with sex. I mean, he's a guy and all, but if you're not ready I think he would understand."