finding you

forty six

"Maybe I shouldn't have come. I'm literally terrified to go in there."

"Theo, don't be dumb. You're as good as his girlfriend at this point. He needs you. Even if he hasn't shown it to you."

I audibly sigh before hopping out of my little truck. We make our way to Ashton's front door. I haven't been here since senior year. Even then, I had only been to his house a handful of times. We usually only hung out at Ronnie's or at school. 

"I'm scared. What if he doesn't want me in there?"

"Just know he's super drunk so don't take anything he says seriously. I'll kick his ass if he's being an ass. Doesn't matter what happened to him."

I'm about to ring the doorbell but Ron just pushes through and opens the door, shaking her head at me. I shrug my shoulders. "What?"

She laughs and just walks through. I follow her after a breath or two.

"Ash?" Ron calls out. We both hear something in the basement so we immediately head down there. 

Just as we turn the corner, Rhys's face is staring right at me. I'm taken back a bit and I almost turn back. He's looking at me but his eyes look black, not blue. He looks like he hasn't slept for days. His hair is a messy pile that can almost cover his eyes and I can even see a hint of stubble growing on his face. He looks terrible. Terrible but terribly handsome. Okay, Theo. Enough.

"What is she doing here? Did you call her? She's not my girlfriend."

Ouch. Okay. He's right but it still doesn't feel like anything less than a punch to the gut.

"She was with Ronnie. Chill out. I needed help to deal with your drunk ass."

He laughs. Rhys laughs as he looks at us. It sends a chilling feeling down my spine. His eyes land on me and stay there. "You should go. You shouldn't see me like this."

"I'm not going anywhere. Are you okay?" I think he was expecting me to stay quiet this whole time because his eyes widen a bit at the sound of my voice.

"I'm fine. You can go. You both can go." He looks at Ronnie. "I just came to crash on Ashton's couch. So leave."

Ronnie walks over to him. He's sitting in front of the couch on the floor. He looks so young and vulnerable it's starting to hurt my heart. "What's wrong with you? Did something happen in Atlanta with Salis?"

He is head snaps up to look at Ron in the face. He looks dangerous. I'm glad I'm not Ronnie right now.

"Who told you that?" He asks. He starts to laugh again but there is nothing funny here. 

I slowly begin to walk towards him, too. He notices my movement but doesn't say anything. He seems to tense up. Ashton sits on an armchair beside the couch and puts his head in his hands. Why do I feel like this isn't the first time he has been in this situation?

"He's fine." Rhys suddenly says, breathing out. He looks completely exhausted. I want to comfort him but I don't know how. "He just fucking got some bad shit. Fentanyl-laced fucking shit. He got fucked up and landed himself in the hospital but he's fine. Learned his lesson, I'm sure."

"Oh my God," I whisper but he heard. His eyes flash in my direction. 

"Too much for you? I would have thought. That's why I'm not talking to you about it."

Rhys has never talked to me this way before. It's really bothering me. It's like I am completely talking to a different person. He wasn't even like this in high school. This is something else. "You could have told me."