finding you

sixty

Surprisingly, Rhys manages to act completely fine throughout the evening. He didn't bring it up at all when we we're all sitting around the campfire together. Well, maybe it's because I wasn't sitting beside him. I guess he wouldn't demand answers right here and right now in front of everyone. 

We're still sitting around the fire. We've all eaten and even roasted a few s'mores. It's getting later and the stars are starting to come out now. The evening is beautiful and crisp, and I swear I could stay out here all night. I will, too, if that doesn't mean I have to talk to Rhys. 

Rhys is talking with my dad about construction. Collins Construction has been involved with the architect in Ambrose Grove so my dad is extra intrigued by Rhys's family's doings. I look over to Ron who's sitting next to me. She keeps giving me concerned looks as if she's worried I'm going to get the strap. Rhys isn't mad at me. He wouldn't be... would he? It's not like I deliberately avoided telling him. Okay, well maybe a little, but he was going through a lot at the time and I didn't feel like I had to. We still haven't decided what it is between us yet; therefore, I'm not his girlfriend. I don't have to do anything. 

The thought makes me momentarily sad. I want to have to tell him. I want to share my successes with him and vice versa. I want to be that for him. The more I think about it, the more sad I get. Rhys has never even asked about what I'm doing after summer. He obviously didn't think we were going anywhere... he obviously still thinks that way. The start of the school year is only a month away. That's not far away. 

Does he not want me with him? Is this only a summer thing? Of course it is, Theo. 

I don't know why but my heart hurts at the thought suddenly. Oh no. What if he thinks I'm like following him to Seattle? That would be awful. I applied to SU long before I ever knew he went there. Seattle has always been my plan.

"Well, I think me and Ashton are going to go," Ronnie's voice chimes in, disrupting my sabatoging thoughts. I immediately shoot a glare in her direction. What about Rhys? He came with you guys. He doesn't have a ride home! "Theo, you can drive Rhys home, hey?"

Oh, Ron. I fricking suppose so. 

I don't respond except for a rather unenthusiastic nod. 

"Great. Thank you so much for supper!" She tells my dad. "It was a perfect night. I'm so glad we came out. We have to do this again!"

My dad smiles at her with excitement. He loves having company over. "Yes, we will soon. I miss you and Ashton over here all the time. You kids are always welcome here."

I stand up to, awkwardly turning to Rhys. "I just have to grab my keys."

He just nods, a small smile touching his lips. I run to the house along with Ron and Ashton, leaving Rhys alone with my Dad. He'll be fine I'm sure. My dad seems utterly swooned with him. 

"I can't believe you didn't tell Rhys, Theo," Ashton says, shaking his head although is expression is humoured. 

"It'll be fine, Theo. Just talk to him." Ronnie sounds very optimistic given the looks she was sending me all night. "Let me know how it goes."

I sadly bid them farewell and watch them drive off, leaving me here... with him. Ugh. I shouldn't be freaking out this much. I'm sure it's fine.

I can't stand the awkward walk from the firepit to my driveway alone with Rhys so I text him that I'm waiting for him out here. He responds with a 'K' and I think I want to off myself. I quickly hop into my truck and start it, the old engine rumbling to life. I love the sound of this old thing. It's noisy but it's comforting to me.

I see Rhys approaching me, and the nerves I have already inside of me triple. He opens the passenger door and gets in, saying nothing at first. I manage to get onto the main highway before he speaks.

"You're quiet. More than normal, I mean."

I feel a slight twinge of hurt from the comment. I don't like when people call me quiet. 

"I'm fine. Sorry my dad kinda chewed your ear off," I say.

"He's great, Theo. I had a great night. I wish you hung out with me more, though."

I glance at him quickly. I'm nervous. "I-I thought... I don't know. I didn't know how you were feeling about what my dad told you."

"About Seattle? Theo, why would I feel anything other than happy for you? I just didn't know and I felt like an idiot when you're dad said that. It came out of nowhere. I was just caught off guard." 

I look at him again. He's looking out the window, not at me. I'm about to tell him I'm sorry but he cuts me off.

"I didn't even know you applied. You knew that was my school... did you...?"

"God, no. Rhys, I applied way before I knew you went there. I just kind of freaked out when I got in because I was afraid you would think I was following you or something. We haven't talked about anything like that and I didn't want to scare you off. But I promise my plan was always to go to Seattle."

I suddenly feel his hand on my thigh. It's a small gesture but the amount of heat it sends through my body is insane. "Theo," he breathes. "Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"You shouldn't have felt that way. I... I'm ecstatic that you're coming to Seattle. That's amazing news. We'll be in the same place."

"It's not like we're living together. We'll probably never see each other, we'll be so busy. Different majors, different classes, different friends..." Oh God. I'm nervous-rambling. Shut up, Theo.

Rhys is silent for a moment and I swear I can hear crickets even over the noise of my old truck's muffler.

Finally, he speaks. "You wouldn't want to see each other?"

Oh no. Of course, I do, Rhys. I'm falling for you so hard. I'm terrified of you. I love you. Oh God, I think actually do love you.

"I... I don't know. I mean... do you?"

He's silent again for a minute and I think I'm actually going to die from the anticipation.

"Theo, of course I do. I... I'm not sure exactly what you're thinking; but as for me," he pauses, seeming to ponder something for a moment. "I already kind of see you as mine."