finding you

eighteen

Something wakes me up. I don't know what it is, but it does. I have no idea what time it is but it must be like 3 in the morning. I feel hot and sweaty. Like the air around me is hot but I'm also covered in a million blankets kind of hot. I attempt to get up but something holds me down. I'm still in a daze and I assume the blankets are just heavy. I try to move again but this time something presses against my stomach, holding me in place. Fear immediately pricks my skin, crippling my whole body into a sudden paralysis. 

It's him.

He's in my bed. 

His arms are over me and he's in my bed. Their hot and heavy, yet all I feel is cold.

I feel sick. I want to throw up. I have to get away. Maybe if I try and get up to go to the bathroom, it'll wake him up and he'll go back to his room .

I turn over slowly, careful not to wake him. I pause for a moment, taking in his face. All I see is danger when I look at him. I'm scared. Slowly, I unravel my body against his and make my way off the bed, silently thanking God I didn't wake him up.

I don't think I'd be able to handle it if he woke up and wanted something. Everyone in the house was sleeping. We were the only ones in the basement. No one would hear. 

I  tip toe to the upstairs bathroom hoping when I flush the toilet, he'll think it's my dad. So maybe he'll then go back to his room and leave me alone. 

I end up trying to make the most noise I can upstairs. Hoping I'll be able to hear him get up off my bed and leave. I hate that I have to sleep down here for a three more weeks. The renovations upstairs can't be going along any slower. 

What am I going to do...

*

I wake up with sun piercing through the window, covering my entire bed. It felt nice, especially after not being able to fall asleep till forever last night. I tried my best to go to bed as early as possible since I barely got any sleep from the night before, but my mind was filled with too much thinking. I couldn't calm myself down enough. As tired as my body was, my mind just wouldn't let me sleep.

I sit up, staring out the window to the backyard. Yesterday was weird. The whole week I've been here has just been weird. I've literally spent more time with Rhys Collins than I have with my best friend. 

Ronnie.

I feel a little pinch of guilt tug at my stomach. I miss her. As much as I blame her for ruining things, I wasn't the nicest to her either. I just wish this whole thing never happened in the first place. I want my best friend back. I want to be able to tell her everything that has happened in the past few days. This summer was supposed to be just me and her, and so far I haven't spend more than one day with her. She hasn't even texted me. 

Maybe I should.

I grab my phone, ignoring the voices in my head telling me I'd be the weak one to text her first. The voices stop when I see her name pop up on my screen. Five text messages are waiting to be opened from her. Woah. She did text me first. Hesitantly, I open them up.

Ronnie: Theo. I miss you. I'm sorry.

Ronnie: Can we meet up today and talk?

Ronnie: Honestly, I'm just pissed at Ash mostly. 

Ronnie: Can I just come over?

Ronnie: ?

I'm slightly annoyed. I'm glad she manned up a little to be the first one to come to me for once in her life. But, I'm irritated that she made it sound like she was the only one mad. Like I was waiting for her to forgive me.