finding you

seventy four

I make my way back to the fire. Rhys ran off to go find somewhere to pee. He said he would meet me down there and we would stay for a few minutes before heading up to Nial's for the night. I think he wants to say goodnight to the birthday boy. I agree, it would have been rude if we just left unannounced.

I'm walking through a brush when I hear someone approach in front of me. I quickly look up to see the one person I hoped to not. Even in the dark night, her blonde hair is still as bright and bouncy.

"Don't Brooke," I warn. I'm not doing this right now. Not ever again. Why is she even here? She was literally not invited.

"Wait," she says, stepping in front of me so she's blocking my way. I'm about to tell her to actually fuck off, but she starts to talk. "Are you and Rhys seriously together?"

"It doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with you," I bite out. I can feel myself getting very defensive. I never get this way around anyone else. There's just very unhealthy history between Brooke and I.

"Veronica told me you and him made it official," she scoffs.

I ignore her completely and walk around her.

"I'm just surprised, actually," she continues, even though I'm clearly not interested in talking to her. Yes, Brooke. We're all surprised that a guy like Rhys Collins would actually like such a sad little girl like me.

I can see the fire now and I can feel myself relax slightly.

"I'm just surprised that you would want to be around him after everything he did."

I stop walking. Just keep walking, Theo. Keep walking. She's just trying to get a rise out of you. She is full of shit.

Slowly, I turn around, completely ignoring my inner subconscious. "What? I don't know what you're trying to do Brooke, but just stop. I'm sorry that you and Rhys never worked out, but seriously, you need to get over him."

She laughs and I have to hold myself back from attacking her. I'm gunna fight her. I'm gunna fight her.

"Get over yourself, Theo. I never liked you, but I never thought you were this damaged. To date the guy that did what he did to you in high school. Even Rhys shouldn't be forgiven for that."

"What, treat me like everyone else did? Ignore me? At least he never pinned down people, cut them open and leave fucking scars on them. Leave me alone, Brooke." I'm starting to get mad. How dare she try to sabotage Rhys like that. Nothing could ever make me believe a single word that comes out of her mouth. "You're sad, Brooke."

I turn around again, making my way down to the fire pit. Wait till Ronnie hears this (I'll get mad at her later for telling Brooke about me and Rhys).

"You actually don't know, do you." She sounds genuinely surprised.

I huff out a breath and spin back around to face her, this time walking right up to her. "Stop making rumours up. You already fucking made enough up about me in high school. Just be done with it, Brooke! Please!"

"You think I made those up? Who do you think could go around convincing people that you tried killing yourself? Who would be the one to have the power to do that? I was popular, but not like that."

"Rhys didn't even know me in high school. He told me he never remembered me."

Brooke chokes out an obnoxious laugh. "That's what he told you? And you believed him? Oh my God. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

My breathing intensifies. I don't even realize it but I'm basically hyperventilating. I'm fucking mad.

"I always that it was weird the way he talked about you. He had some fucked up fascination with you. It was like an obsession. I didn't understand it in the slightest. It actually made me fucking mad because he didn't talk that much about me."

I shake my head at her. I don't believe her, even though my stomach is filling quickly with a sick feeling. "I don't believe you."

"It was something to do with his mom," she goes on, ignoring me. "There was a rumour going around that she killed herself or something, and, like, that's how she actually died. He went livid when that started getting out. He told me to start telling people it was you. You were sad and dark enough for anyone to believe it. I believed it."

I can't physically believe what I'm hearing. It's not registering with me. I won't let it. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

She continues, "He was so worried that people were going to be talking about his family. He was so obsessed with it. I honestly think it might be true. His mom probably did fucking kill herself. I always thought he was just obsessed with his image, but like... the more I think about it..."

"Stop..." I breathe out. I have to get away from this... from her. It's not true. She's lying...

"You think I just randomly attacked you that day in the change room? I did it for him. He told me to do it. He told me to make people believe it."

"Stop..." I'm pleading her to this time. Don't listen to her, Theo. She's manipulative. There's no way...

"You know," she says, looking to the side as if realizing something. "It actually makes sense. He was desperate to protect his family. He did what he had to do, and he used me to help the process. It's kind of brilliant actually. He knew I would do anything for him. I would have done more, too. I just never doubted him for a second. He told me that rumour was about you, not this mom... and that was it. I had to set it straight." She laughs a little before meeting my gaze head on. There's entertainment in her eyes. "He's probably having a little guilt episode right now and this is his way fix his conscious.... Or maybe he just likes to fuck freaky, suicidal chicks... just like his momma."

That's when I black out for a second, and suddenly I'm on the ground with Brooke. Both of my hands are at her head, entangled with handfuls of her hair. I'm pulling as hard as I can. She's trying to kick me but I'm on top of her and my knees are pinning her chest. She screams. I scream.

I know tears are running down my face, but I'm angrier than anything. I'm furious. I'm horrified. I'm everything else but okay.

We tousle around for a few moments longer before I feel strong arms wrap around me from behind. I hear voices around me but I'm not listening. I'm only focused on making Brooke hurt. I want to make her hurt like she hurt me. I fight against whoever is trying to pull me off. I manage to get my arm free and I take a swing at Brooke's face, sending it hard into the ground. It would have been a lot more satisfying if it wasn't soft and cushy sand.

Suddenly, I'm aggressively lifted and thrown off Brooke. I half land in the sand and half land on someone. Without seeing who it is, I immediately try to run back towards Brooke. I'm stopped once again and this time, I'm scooped up. Whoever is holding me is holding me tight and it's painful. It just makes me scream even more. My fear instincts suddenly kick in and I need this person to let go of me.

Panic.

"Let me go!" I scream. I'm being dragged off. More panic. Get off, get off, get off.

"Stop! Just stop, Theo!"

"Get off of me!" I'm crying.

I don't know how far we get before I'm tossed hard into the sand in front of me. I immediately look up to a very tall silhouette.

"Rhys," I breathe out. I'm relieved but my heart is still racing with adrenaline. I'm still freaking out.

"Theo," Rhys starts. He's out of breath. I'm not sure how long he was carrying me for. "Just breathe."

"Rhys," I say again. I can feel my eyes well up with tears. My bottom lip involuntarily pouts out, and I'm immediately embraced by big strong arms.