finding you

seventy two

I look at Ronnie who is standing on the other side of the circle with Ashton. She's pretending like she's listening to Brooke talking but her eyes are on me and Rhys. She's looking at me like she's waiting for me to do something.

I look back up at Rhys. "What is happening right now?" I ask, bluntly. I'm not playing games.

He's about to say something when someone cuts in.

"Rhys, did you hear that?" some guy standing next to Brooke calls out. He's still laughing from whatever he was talking about before. "Who is that?"

It takes a moment, but Rhys finally steps aside, allowing me into view. Wow, thanks. 

I literally recognize Brooke and one other person she is with. Samantha; her cousin. I only know that because when we were younger, she would bring Samantha everywhere with her, to birthday parties, school events, carnivals... I think she used to live here but moved away before we got to high school. We weren't in the same elementary school, though. I also recognize her fast because she is showcased on Brooke's Instagram every other post, so I'm aware of what she looks like today.

I step forward so I'm standing beside Rhys, not behind him anymore. Brooke immediately sees me but says nothing. She just smiles as if to acknowledge me. I notice her eyes flickering between me and Rhys a bit. Yeah, Brooke, that's right. He's with me, not you.

I suddenly frown at my thoughts. She doesn't even know, and by the way Rhys has been acting, I know he hasn't told her. He probably hasn't told anyone.

"This is Theo," Rhys finally says, introducing me to the guy who asked. I nod at him, smiling lightly. I turn back to Rhys who isn't looking at me anymore. There's still space between us. I roll my eyes. It's not like I expect him to introduce me right away as his girlfriend. I guess I expected a little bit more than this, though.

Everyone seems to go back into whatever conversation they were having before. I take this as my chance to leave discreetly and turn away to leave. I get maybe ten steps away before a hand wraps around my arm.

"Wait, Theo," Rhys's voice fills the night air. I attempt to continue my aggressive walk away from him. I just need to get away from him to process what just happened. Was he actually ashamed to let Brooke know he's with me? "Theo." His voice raises a little bit and I stop my struggling to look up at him.

"Why are you suddenly acting like that? Are you mad or something?"

"What? No, Theo."

"Are you, like, embarrassed of me?" I blurt. I can't tell if I'm being dramatic or not. Am I feeling this emotional because I'm drunk?

"Theo, stop. What are you talking about?"

I give him a look. Not just any look. No. I give him my best "are you actually that fucking stupid" and "do you really expect me to explain it you" kind of look. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. I can't even talk to his boy right now. He's playing dumb. I'm not dumb. Well, not this kind of dumb. I just give a cold-hearted laugh and spin myself back around to keep walking. He catches up to me in a second and this time both hands grab my arms, stopping me. "Stop, Rhys."

"Theo, I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry. I didn't know she was going to show up. I promise."

I spin back around to face him so fast he has to take a step back to give me room. "That's not why I'm upset, Rhys. I feel hurt because you... you rejected me... in front of her." I feel my lip starting pout out like it does when I'm about to cry. Oh no.

I hear a big sigh but when I look at him his eyes are dancing with humour. Is he... is he honestly finding this funny right now?

I can see one of his cocky smiles teasing at his lips. I don't give him the satisfaction of finishing his smirk before I'm off towards the bushes for the tenth time tonight, it seems.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry. Babe, don't."

I stop and look at him again. "Are you only calling me babe because we're far enough away they can't hear us?"

This time Rhys rolls his eyes at me. "Theo, just stop trying to run away from me so I can talk to you."

I raise my eyebrow and stand on my hip, waiting for him to continue. He sighs, audibly, but takes a step closer and grabs one of my hands. He squeezes gently and continues to hold it.

"I panicked when I saw her. I didn't know what the best way to approach her was. I just remember everything that went down last time and I want to avoid anything like that happening again. I also didn't want her to see you. I don't want her pulling anything on you." He pauses for a moment, squeezing my hand again. "I guess I was trying to protect you, but I realize now that was dumb as fuck. I just didn't want the news of us being together to, like, trigger her..."

I meet his gaze but say nothing. Finally, I take a breath. "I felt like you were trying to hide the fact we were together, like you didn't want anyone to know. I felt stupid wrapping my arms around you... it was embarrassing when you pulled away. Sorry I didn't get the memo we were keeping everything on the low."

He sighs rather dramatically before moving his hands up to my arms and holding me still. "I wasn't... I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. Theo, I want everyone to know you're mine. Not an ounce of me is embarrassed to be with you. Baby, if anyone should be ashamed it's you of me. I've acted like an idiot tonight. I'm drunk as fuck right now." He starts to smile, as if realizing how drunk he really is. I try to pull away again but am immediately halted. "Theo, for the love of God, stop trying to walk away from me. I fucked up. I just got you and I fucking ruined our first night together, officially. I just don't want Brooke to have anything to do with us. It really pisses me off that she's here."

"Why do you not want her to know about us?"

"Because it's not her business. I don't want her fucking up tonight, that's why."

"Don't treat me like I'm nothing to you in front of her. That's worse," I state as seriously as I can to him. "It didn't make me feel good."

Rhys doesn't waste another second before bringing me into his embrace. He hugs me tight and kisses me repeatedly on the head. "I never want you to feel like that, baby. Forgive me." He kisses my forehead and lingers his lips there for a moment. He pulls me away just enough so he can dip his head to kiss my lips. It takes me a moment but eventually I succumb. I think I will always succumb to him. 

I mean, Rhys, you make it kind of hard to not forgive you when you're kissing me while you're apologizing. This man is infuriating.

But, oh so... perfect. He's completely irresistible.

It's actually concerning to me... What can this boy do to me? Hypothetically, he could hurt me a lot and I still don't think I could leave him.

Because right at this very moment, there isn't a single scenario I where I can see myself walking away from him.