All I want | Shawn Mendes

Chapter 41

I soon leave and make my way home. I got up to my room and I look out my window and I see Shawn in his room lying on his bed which his hands over his eyes. His top is off and he looks like he's been crying as he sits up. I take a deep breath and decide it's best to pull my blind down so I don't have the urge to look at Shawn.
The next day eventually comes after a sleepless night. I make my way into school and I walk in with my head held high as I make my way to my locker and as I'm getting my books out my eyes meet Shawn and I drop my books on the floor. He looks at the books and then back at me. He's continues to keep walking before he stops and helps me pick up my books. "Uh thanks" I say with a smile and he smiles back and gives them back to me but his eyes look at my neck and his smile fades. He walks passed me as he hits my shoulder and I can tell he's mad.
SHAWNS POV:
The school day finally comes to and end and I walk home. I reach my house. I open my door. I go upstairs. I open my bedroom door. I close my bedroom door. I lay on my bed. That's how simple my life has become with out her. I fucked up. My doorbell rings and I make my way downstairs and it's Lily. She smiles at me and I let her in and we both go to my room. "You okay?" She asks and instantly I begin to cry my eyes out. She comes over and hugs me and it's comforting. "I'm so sorry Shawn" she says over and over again. "I messed up" I say as I stand up. "I really fucked up and I regret it each day! I shouldn't of kissed Rebecca because as soon as I did that things changed and they weren't the same and then I spoke to her like that and" I took a deep breath. "Then I slept with a different girl, a girl that I don't even like! How low and selfish can I get?" I yell. "I lost the best girl ever, I lost my dream girlfriend, my soulmate for no reason!! I lost my everything" I scream and I'm pretty sure the whole street heard me. "Tell her that" Lily suggests.