Chim - Make You Stay

Chapter 11

Cheryl

I'm sitting at home, watching tv and thinking how lonely I am, not sure what I'm watching. Suddenly, I hear a loud banging on the door, someone desperately trying to get in. I switch the tv off, afraid, and Ashley suddenly barges in. He comes over to me and I scream as he pins me to the sofa, shouting in my face. I scream as loudly as I can, trying to kick and punch him, but it makes no difference. I can hear Kim calling my name, but I can't see her anywhere, all I can see is Ashley, shouting in my face. Then he slaps me.

I sit bolt upright, holding my face, looking into Kim's eyes. I'm shaking and crying, and suddenly Kim's holding me, rocking me slowly and stroking my hair.

"It's a dream babe, it's not real"

I can't get the images from the dream out of my head. I feel bad for waking Kim up, but I'm so glad she's here to hold me.

Once I've calmed down slightly, I feel my cheek begin to throb slightly.

"Kimba.. did you slap us?"

"I'm sorry, I had to. You were screaming and tossing and turning, I didn't know what else to do. Let me get you a cold flannel"

She goes to get out of bed, but I grab on to her middle tightly.

"Don't leave us"

She pulls the duvet over us both and wraps her arms around me from behind, making me feel safe and within minutes I can hear her breathing slow down and become heavier.

I don't want to close my eyes, afraid that I'll see Ashley's face again, so I gently slip out of bed and pull on a jumper.

I sit on the floor on the balcony, shivering with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. I've gone so long without a drink and I need one desperately, but I don't want to upset Kim after all that she's done for me. I sit there smoking, completely torn on what I should do. I take one sip from the bottle, and walk to the railing of the balcony. I take a deep breath and pour the rest of the bottle on to the grass below, watching it splash slightly.

I go back to sitting on the floor, and put out the fag.

Without realising, I drift off there, shivering in the cold with the bottle in my hand.

****

Kimberley

I wake up with light shining through the curtains, and I stretch and yawn. I open my eyes and go to check on Cheryl, but she's not in bed. I lay there for a while, expecting her to come back from the bathroom, but when she doesn't, I go looking for her.

When she isn't in the living room or kitchen, I begin to panic. I check the balcony, and my heart sinks. She's curled up in a corner, asleep and shivering, with an empty bottle of vodka in her hand.

I am absolutely fuming. How could she? After everything I've done for her, she thinks it's okay to get hammered in the middle of the night, in my home, and expect me to pick up the pieces.

I storm onto the balcony, snatching the bottle from her and making her jump. In her tiredness, she curls into a ball, trying to protect herself with her hands.

When she realises it's only me, she relaxes.

"How could you? After everything?" I shout, waving the empty bottle around for emphasis.

"No, Kim, listen to me.."

"No, you listen to me! I can't do this again, no. I've dealt with alcoholics before and I can't do it again, I can't deal with you if you're going to be like this!"

"I'm not an alcoholic! I didn't even drink it!"

"Don't fu!king lie to me!" I wave the bottle around again but it slips out of my hand and smashes on the floor, inches from Cheryl.

She cowers in the corner, her breaths quickening as she panics.

I turn around and go back inside, slamming the door angrily behind me.

I don't know what to do with myself, I'm absolutely livid.

I go back into the bedroom, dress quickly and grab my bag, storming out of the flat and slamming the front door behind me.

I wander around the streets, feeling lost. I don't understand anything. How could Cheryl do this again? I thought she was getting better. I thought I was helping her.

I find a small coffee shop, and I go in, sitting in a booth in the corner. I order a drink and I just sit there, head in my hands, clueless about what I'm going to do.

I finish my fourth cup of tea and leave the shop. I know I'll have to face Cheryl sooner or later, and I guess the sooner I go back, the sooner we can sort everything out.

I take my time walking home, not exactly excited about it. I check my phone on the way back; it's been on silent and I have a text from Cheryl. I sigh, and open it.

Ashley threw a bottle at me once, but it didn't miss.

My stomach drops and I feel sick. I never meant to throw the bottle at her, it slipped out of my hand. But she doesn't know that.

I panic and hurry up, speed-walking home, desperate to make it up to her. All of my anger's suddenly gone and I just want to make everything right. I don't want to lose her.

I take the stairs two at a time as I hurry up to the flat. When I get to the door, I bang on it loudly several times. No sound from inside. I bang loudly again, but after no reply for a second time, I fumble around in my bag, getting my keys out.

I let myself in to the flat, my heart racing. Why didn't she answer the door?

"Cheryl?"

I go into the living room to find her hidden under a blanket on the sofa, shaking.

"Cheryl? What's wrong?"

She looks up at me, her eyes round and watery.

"The banging.. I thought you were Ashley" she whispers, and I feel my heart break. I put my bag down and climb under the blanket with her, hugging her tightly to me as she begins to cry. I can't help but cry with her.

"I'm so sorry I scared you.. and I never threw that bottle earlier, it slipped, I promise I will never try and hurt you like that"

"I never even drank that vodka, I was so close but I poured it off of the balcony because I didn't want to upset you"

I freeze, pulling out of her embrace. Looking at her tear stained face, I can tell she's not lying and I feel like such an idiot. I didn't even listen to her, just jumping to conclusions.

I can't make eye contact with her as I feel my eyes prick with hot tears.

"I'm so so sorry" I sob

"I'm sorry too" she says, still crying.

We look at each other and can't help but laugh.

"We're such numpties" she giggles, and we curl up together on the sofa.

I hold on to her tightly, and I never want to let go.