Chim - Make You Stay

Chapter 26

Cheryl

I stare out of the window, watching the clouds pass by. I'm exhausted, but I can't seem to sleep, my mind racing away at a million miles per hour.

The last few days have been so crazy, beginning so well and ending so so horrifically. I can't wait to get home and just be able to sleep in the comfort of my own bed.

Kimba's fallen into a restless sleep, her head on my shoulder. Even when she's asleep, she has deep worry lines on her face and I sigh looking at her.

I gently kiss her on the forehead, and she stirs slightly, her eyelids fluttering open. She yawns and looks up at me, kissing me gently on the lips.

"How long have we got left?" she asks, her voice still laced with sleep.

"About an hour"

She nods sleepily and curls up closer to me, and I gently begin to stroke her hair. I love the moments like this. We can be silent together, just relax and absorb the quiet without it being awkward. And although no words are said, I can feel her love.

I feel stupid for doubting her loyalty to me. I know she loves me, of course she does, but I accept she would drop everything for her Mum. I would do the same for mine.

The plane lands at last and we go through customs and collect our bags. In silence, we go outside the airport and wait for a taxi.

"How are you feeling babe?" I ask, concerned.

Kim simply shrugs and sighs, closing her eyes for a few moments.

A taxi pulls up and we both get in, sitting through the drive in silence once again, but this time I feel nervous. I really feel bad that I can't do anything to help Kimba.

As soon as the taxi pulls up at Kim's flat, we both jump out, grabbing our bags quickly and hurrying upstairs, so grateful to be back.

I open the door of the flat and everything suddenly hits me like a tonne of bricks. We've not even been away a week, but it feels like an eternity. As soon as I close the door behind us, Kim crumples to the floor crying, also overwhelmed. I sit down next to her, pulling her into a hug and we just sit there. I realise there are a few tears also escaping my eyes, and I can't help be emotional too. Our lives have changed a considerable amount within a few days, and it's crazy to think about.

After a while my butt has gone numb and Kimba's stopped crying, so I get up off of the floor pulling her up too.

"I'm going to bed" she says quietly, pulling out of my hold and going into the bedroom. Silently I follow her and just watch as she climbs into bed fully dressed and hides beneath the duvet.

I pull on some pjs, brush my teeth and climb in next to her, not realising how tired I am. I fall asleep instantly, feeling so grateful to be back home in my own bed.

I wake up a few times in the night and sometimes Kim's next to me and sometimes she isn't. I really want to get up and go to her, but on the other hand I don't want to annoy her or push her away from me. I decide to give her some space, God knows she probably needs it.

*****

Kimberley

I hate this so much. I can't even cry, I have no idea how to feel anymore. It's like a massive black hole of numbness inside of me and it won't go away. I can't sleep and I wish I could. I just want to cuddle Cheryl until it all goes away but I know it's not going to make any difference.

I just can't help feeling so lonely. Who do I even have anymore? I know I have Cheryl for now, but surely she's going to leave me too at some point? Everyone does, I'm used to it now. I'm over it.

I just need to do something, anything. I creep back into the bedroom and see that Cheryl's still sleeping. Quickly, I pull on a hoodie and some tracksuit bottoms and I get my ipod from the bedside table, looking at the clock. 2:49 AM.

Pulling on my trainers, I hurry out of the front door, trying not to slam it behind me, and put in my earphones. I find myself running, and I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm running from myself.