Chim - Make You Stay

Chapter 6

Cheryl

I wake up slightly confused. What happened last night? I open my eyes and I'm laying on the sofa, on top of Kim. I stare at her sleeping, feeling my body rising and falling with her breaths. She looks so peaceful, so gorgeous, her hair spread out on the pillow around her face, angelic.

Her eyelids flicker open and she stares back at me. I'm not sure how long this goes on for, us both staring into each others eyes. She keeps looking at my lips and I wonder if she's going to kiss me, but she just looks away awkwardly. What the hell, why would she even kiss me. I'm a mess.. and I doubt she's gay.. I'm not even gay!

I sit up, trying to shake my confusing thoughts away. Kim still looks awkward and I wonder why.

"Brew?" I offer.

"I'd love one"

She turns and smiles at me and I can't help but smile back.

I take my time making the tea and I can feel a headache begin to come on. How much had I even drank last night? I know it must have been a lot because I can't remember much apart from laughing hysterically.

I feel like such an idiot. I'd just gotten drunk in front of Kim again and made a fool out of myself probably. A gnawing feeling in my stomach is telling me that I've done something wrong, but I have no idea what.

I go back into the living room and pass Kim her cup. She thanks me and puts it on the table without making eye contact and the gnawing feeling comes back.

"Kim.. I'm sorry"

She whips her head round to look at me.

"What for"

"For inviting you here and getting drunk again.. I don't even remember what happened"

I look away, ashamed of myself, but I don't miss her look of disappointment. I wish I could make it go away.

"It's fine, don't worry. Shall I make us some breakfast?"

My stomach drops but I just nod, not wanting to upset her any more. As soon as she leaves the room, I light up a cigarette and sit there smoking, deep in thought and trying to remember what had happened the previous night.

Kim comes back in a few minutes later with some scrambled eggs, and I take the plate, put it in my lap and light up another cigarette. I can feel her staring at me and I try as hard as I can to look everywhere around the room apart from at her.

I put my fag out and the plate on the table, and before I know it, Kim is on top of me, pinning me to the sofa. She wildly starts tickling me and I roll around, laughing until I'm crying.

"Eat the goddamn egg or I swear I'm gonna tickle you to death!" She squeals.

"Okay, okay!" I gasp for air, finally sitting up when she stops.

She scoops some egg up onto a spoon and looks at me. Sighing, I open my mouth, letting her feed me.

After a few mouthfuls, I'm full, but when I tell Kim this, she isn't happy.

"You've only had a tiny bit! Come on babe?"

I shake my head and take the plate off of her, putting it back on the table. I can't help the small nagging in the back of my mind- she'd just called me babe and it makes me so happy.

She's still looking at me unhappily, so I lean in and gave her a hug. I feel her stiffen, like she is afraid or unsure about what I am going to do. After a while I feel her relax in my arms and we sit like that for a while, just holding each other. I can feel her heartbeat and it's unusually fast and I wonder why that is. I breathe in her smell and take a mental snapshot of this moment- I want to be able to remember it for when I get lonely again.

Suddenly Kim pulls away, looking down. She looks upset and I instantly feel my heart drop, I hate seeing her sad.

"What's up" I ask and gently lift her chin, making her look up at me.

"Nothing" She smiles weakly "I should go".

She gets up so suddenly and grabs her bag, hurrying to the front door. What have I done? Was it me?

I go after her, but she is shouting goodbye and closing the door as I get into the hall. I run to the door but she has already gone.

Why did she leave so suddenly and how is she even going to get home? I sigh, going back into the living room and slumping down on the sofa. Why do I always mess these things up?

****

Kimberley

I jog back home in a daze. I shouldn't have left so suddenly, I bet she hates me now. I slow down, reaching my flat, barely realising I'm home.

It's clear that she can't remember kissing me, and that hurts. I wish she could remember it, I want to know why. Was it a crazy drunken move, or something more than that?

I go indoors, and got into bed, fed up.

I'd freaked out and I know Cheryl will be worried and confused. I have to text her, so I just send her a feeble text that just says 'sorry.x'

When she had hugged me, it threw me off. She held on to me so tightly, I could feel her heart beat against me and every breath she took, and it did crazy things to my insides, making it feel like hundreds of butterflies were fluttering around inside me.

I lay in bed feeling like a terrible person, and I got a reply from Cheryl.

'Are you okay??? I'm sorry too xxxx'

I have no clue what to text back. 'No I'm not okay cause just looking at you drives me crazy?'. No, I could never send her that. I haven't even told her I'm gay.

'I'm fine. See you soon hopefully.xx'

I put my phone on the bedside table and pull the duvet up over my head. It's only about 11am but I'm still tired from the previous night, and I feel myself begin to drift off.

But it's in those last sleepy minutes before I drift off that I allow myself to admit it.

I think I have a crush on Cheryl.