Chim - Make You Stay

Chapter 49

Cheryl

Kimberley's been out of hospital for three days, and nothing's changed. It's like we exist in separate worlds, living in the same house but barely speaking or acknowledging eachother's existence. And I don't know how much longer I can deal with it.

She won't open up, and she won't let me in. She sleeps through the day when it's light, because as soon as it gets late and dark, she gets afraid. She lays awake all night, just string at the ceiling, her mind going at a million miles per hour. When I fall asleep, she's awake, just staring, and she's the same when I wake up. She looks exhausted but she won't listen to me or let me help.

I climb out of the shower, towel drying my hair. I'm supposed to be going to record some stuff in a few days, do some writing and just mess around in the studio, but I'm too scared to leave her. Partly scared that she won't be okay, but also scared that I'll come back to find that she's packed her stuff and left me.

I unlock the bathroom  door and go into the bedroom. Kimba's reading, or at least pretending to, but I can tell it's an act. Her eyes are darting all over the pages, and she's turning each page way too quickly.

I switch the bedroom light off and slide into bed beside her, and she puts the book on the bedside table. She stares up at the ceiling as usual, saying nothing. I sigh, rolling over to face away from her. Closing my eyes, I fall asleep, wishing this will all end soon.

****

Kimberley

I can't do this anymore. Cheryl has given up trying with me, and I don't blame her. I've been running and hiding from the nightmares that await me, but I can't do so for any longer. 

I want everything to be over, for this torture to end. I close my eyes and let myself drift into sleep, letting the darkness envelop me. And I hope that I sleep for a long time.

I hear his heavy footsteps down the hall as I lay in bed, shaking in fear. But he doesn't come to the bedroom. I hear him go into the living room and I breathe a sigh of relief. Minutes later, I hear screams and I realise that he's got to Cheryl.

I leap up out of bed and rush to the living rom, throwing the door open. He's standing above her, ready to strike with his fist raised.

I rush over, trying to hold me back, but he pushes me off. And there's nothing I can do. I'm too weak to hold him off as he beats her up, and all I can hear is her crying.

I punch and kick his back, but I don't even make an impact on him, he's too strong. And I can't save Cheryl as he beats the life out of her.

I wake up screaming and I can't stop. Cheryl wakes up beside me and looks scared, not sure what to do, but once I've began I can't stop. I just scream and scream and scream. I scream and I don't stop for what feels like forever, letting everything out.

And when I stop screaming, I can't stop crying. And Cheryl's arms are around me, comforting me, and that makes me cry more. I'm scared. And I'm angry, and upset and I can't hold it in anymore.

"Babe.. can you calm down. Please try and calm down" Cheryl reassures me

"NO" I scream, breaking out of the hug.

"No I can't stay calm and don't call me babe. You want to know. I know you want to know what happened and you think I'm weak for not talking about it. So I'm talking. He broke in and he came into my room. I opened my eyes and saw him standing above me. He kept asking where you were and I wouldn't tell him so he punched me. Then he pushed me to the floor and kicked me in the stomach. And then he left me alone and I crawled to the front door and it was locked and then I think I fell asleep and he kicked me awake and dragged me back to the bedroom and pulled off my underwear and then you came in" I shout at her in a rush.

I start crying again and I can hear Cheryl crying next to me. And it's done. I've said it and it's off my shoulders.

"I've never thought you're weak, please never say that. I love you, I'll always love you" Cheryl sobs, and I throw myself at her, hugging her tighter than ever.

Once we're both exhausted from crying, we lay back down and curl up together.

"Cheryl?" I ask

"Yeah"

"I'm scared I'm going to have another nightmare"

"Don't worry babe, I'll wake you up and be right here to make it better"

I roll over to face her, and for the first time in what feels like too long, I give her a big kiss on the lips.