Chapter 24

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Cheryl

I hold Kim tightly in my arms, rocking her gently and stroking her hair. I can barely believe what's happened and I'm so devastated for her.

It's still raining and we're both soaked through, our hair and clothes dripping, and I can feel the soil seeping through my jeans.

"Kimba? Do you want to go to the car? Or we could go back to your Mum's house?"

She's stopped crying but doesn't reply, clinging on to me tightly and staring into space.

Slowly, I begin to stand up and pull her with me. She lets me lead her away from the train tracks, not at all paying attention.

I manage to find her Mum's house again without getting lost.

"Do you want to leave or see your Mum?"

She doesn't reply, but begins walking back to her Mum's house and takes me with her, never letting go of my hand.

As soon as she knocks on the door, it flies open as if her Mum has been waiting for her to return.

She looks at Kim with sad eyes and suddenly looks shocked as she notices me. She takes it in, but doesn't comment, just accepting that we must be friends.

They fall into a hug, Kimba still clutching on to my hand, and surprisingly neither of them cry.

"I should have been here, I could have helped. It's my fault" Kim says in an emotionless voice, and my heart breaks for her.

"No, it wasn't your fault" her Mum reassures her.

"How long ago?" She asks, pulling out of the hug.

"..Two weeks today" her Mum barely whispers, and Kimba's grip on my hand tightens.

"I'll stay. I'll move back to Bradford, I'll come home and stay with you!"

My stomach drops. How could she say that, after everything I've done for her?

"No." her Mum says firmly. "Don't you see Kimmy? This is it. This is my life now, stuck here mourning and moping. That was Amy's life too. You went away, cleared your head, sorted your life out. You need to leave here. Go back to wherever you were and stay there. Or travel. Learn new things, see new places, fall in love" she says, looking at me at the last part. "Kimmy, I want you to leave here and never look back. Don't forget us, but don't look behind you, don't dwell on the past. Please, make something of your life. It's over for me, but it doesn't have to be for you. Make something out of yourself. Make every day count"

Thick tears are running down Kim's face and I can even feel myself getting emotional, but her Mum doesn't crack.

".. What are you saying?"

"Hug me and go. Right now. Go and live your life and don't look back."

They both step forward and quickly hug, Kim finally releasing my hand from her grip. She turns around and we let ourselves out, her mum not even showing us out.

We walk straight to the car and get in, and I'm unsure of what she wants me to do.

"To the hotel?"

"Please"

I start the car and drive away, and as the car pulls away from the house, Kim's mum goes to the door and watches us drive away.

Kim cries quietly all the way to the hotel.

When we get to the hotel, Kimba takes the suitcases and I check in. We get a few funny looks as we go up to our room, and I remember that we're both soaking wet and I have a very muddy bum.

We go into the room and I don't know what to do with myself, or how to act around Kim. On one hand, she could put her walls up and insist that she's fine, pushing me away. But, she could also become clingy and want me to take care of her. I'm hoping she does the second one.

"Baby.. do you want a shower? You need to get out of those clothes or you'll get a cold"

She simply nods at me and sniffs, looking like a lost child. I go over and slowly peel off her soaking clothes, leaving her in her underwear and getting some pjs for her once she's finished.

She goes into the bathroom and I call for room service to arrive when she's finished, suddenly feeling really hungry.

A few minutes later, the bathroom door opens again and Kim's still in her underwear, but she's sobbing softly. She holds her hand out towards me and I go over, hugging her tightly as she cries against me.

"Do you want me to help you?" I ask, instantly regretting it in case she feels patronised. But I feel her nod against me, so I go in the bathroom with her.

We both get in the shower, and I wash her hair gently, massaging her head in slow circles to relax her. I can't tell if she's crying anymore, tears mixing with the water.

I wash my hair and then end up washing both of us as she just stands there.

I go to turn the taps off, but she quickly grabs me around the middle, resting her head on my chest and hugging me tightly. I squeeze her back, and we stand like this for a few minutes. She leans up and quickly pecks me on the lips, and I turn the water off.

*****

Kimberley

I sit on the bed eating pizza whilst Cheryl brushes my hair through. I didn't think I was hungry, but as soon as I smelt the pizza, I wanted to eat it all.

Cheryl begins to plait my hair into a fishtail braid, so it will go wavy in the morning. She's being so good to me and it's making emotional just thinking about it, and how I don't deserve someone as good as her.

Once she's finished with my hair, she eats her pizza too, and we just sit in silence. There are no words to be said, and what can we talk about? I don't want to talk about today, but I'll have to soon. Not today though.

And even though it feels like a part of my heart has been torn out, never to be replaced, I also feel slightly free. My Mum doesn't hate me for running away from it all, and she's freed me of that guilt now. I can do what she says. Go away and live my life to the fullest and make her proud. And Amy, and Dad.

But then another thought creeps into my head. If I had gone home 2 weeks earlier, I could have made a difference. I could have helped Amy, I could have stopped her. Would my Dad really be proud of me now? Seeing this mess, a mess I could have prevented. Would he be proud that I ran from Mum and Amy when they probably needed me most?

And I think these are the hardest parts. Never truly knowing if they would be proud of you right now. Slowly forgetting their voices, and the memories slipping away one by one. And the voice of 'What if?'. What if it had been different? Maybe I had the power to prevent both of them from dying? It was too late now. Too little, too late.

I snap back to reality, realising that I'm sobbing again and Cheryl's holding me.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

I simply nod and crawl under the duvet as she turns off the light and gets in beside me. She snuggles close and I let her spoon me from behind, feeling safe in her embrace.

"I love you" I whisper.

"I love you too" She whispers back, kissing me behind my ear. But she doesn't need to tell me, because she shows me. She shows me she loves me in everything she does, and I'm so grateful that I have her in my life.

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Sorry if it gets a bit deep and I ramble on a bit, just nice to write some stuff down and get it off my chest😌 hope you're enjoying it so far❤️

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