Chim - Make You Stay

Chapter 48

Cheryl

Words fail me as I stare at her. I knew it was bad, and her face is pretty bad, but I wasn't expecting.. this.

"Cheryl?" she asks, and I make eye contact with her. Tears side down my cheeks and I wipe them away  quickly. I pick up her pyjamas, taking them over to her. She looks at the floor, suddenly self conscious of herself. I bend down onto my knees, and pull her close. Gently, I kiss the blue and purple bruises. She doesn't flinch or move, letting me. 

I stand again, helping her put on her pyjamas. I lean in to kiss her lips, but she turns her head, avoiding me. I feel hurt and rejected as she struggles past me. I try to help her, but she batts my hand away, refusing my help.

I don't know what to do, or think. What have I done?

I follow her into the bedroom, and see her just stopped staring. She looks around, her face with no expression. Looking at her eyes, I can tell what's going through her mind. I want to kiss her, hug her, hold her. But I'm scared to touch her in case it hurts her, and it's clear she doesn't want my affection.

"You okay?" I ask.

She simply nods and slowly climbs into bed. She makes herself comfy and I go back to the kitchen, getting two plates with sandwiches for our lunch. I also grab a glass of water and some painkillers for Kimba, knowing she must be in pain.

I go back into the bedroom, getting under the duvet with her and handing her a plate and her glass. I put my plate on the bedside table and give her the painkillers. She takes them and we just sit in an awkward silence, eating our lunch.

"Fancy a film?" I ask when we've both finished.

"Okay" she replies, sounding unexcited.

I get up and choose a film, deciding on pulp fiction, one of my all time favourites.

We sit through the film, and half way through, I look over and notice Kimba's fallen asleep. I turn the film off and switch off the bedroom light. I know I should just let her sleep, but I can't. I go back to the bed and slide in beside her. I shuffle close to her and gently place her arm over my middle, pretending that she's holding me. Pretending that she's letting me in and that she can open up to me. Pretending that everything isn't broken.

****

Kimberley

I wake up and the bed beside me is still warm, and I can tell that Cheryl has only been gone for a few minutes. Being alone in the room makes me feel uneasy, on edge. The memories flood back again, and I need to leave the room. 

I get out of bed, struggling into the bathroom. I lock the door behind me ad sit down on the cold toilet lid, breathing deeply. This is stupid, how long is this going to last? I feel ridiculous, these images still going through my head. I want it to stop, to go away. I want to be normal again. But what is normal anymore?

I sigh, getting up and leaving the bathroom. I hear the television on in the living room, so I go in to find Cheryl sitting on the sofa. She's looking at the television but I can tell she's not really watching it. Her eyes are watery and I can tell she's been crying, but I don't want to bring it up. I feel like it's my fault, it probably is.

I take a seat next to her and we sit in silence for a while until she speaks up nervously.

"This isn't right" she says quietly.

"Huh?"

"He belongs in jail, he needs to go to jail for this. Kimba, please.." she begs me.

I feel my anger and shame rising. I want to more than anything, but I can't. I just can't get the words out, it's too soon. And it makes me feel so weak and useless, can't Cheryl see that?

"I can't" I say simply.

"You have to!" she retorts, raising her voice.

"I'm going back to bed" I decide, and go back to the bedroom as quickly as I can, which isn't that fast.

I lay in bed for what feels like forever, not even tired. It's only early evening, and I'm beginning to get hungry, but I don't want to be anywhere near Cheryl right now. My ribs are also beginning to hurt again, but I don't want to ask for more painkillers. So I just lay in bed and sulk at how horrible this whole situation has turned out.

And the most annoying thing is, I agree with Cheryl. Ashley belongs in jail and I want him to rot there, but I can't do anything yet. I can't do it for me or Cheryl, and I'm a disappointment to her.

I pull the duvet over my head in an attempt to shut everything out. But obviously, it doesn't work.