Stop. Just... Stop. (RANT BOOK)

Beginning Of The End?

This rant/thing is gonna get emotional and just be all over the place. So, if you're easily confused, you shouldn't read this.

I love One Direction so much. It's not because they're hot and I want their babies. They made me realize that you can love something so, so much even if you've never seen it in person or touched it.

I have gained so many good friends from being in this fandom, and I have One Direction to thank for that because as much as I hate to say it, even I need someone to lean on, and they gave me that.

They were so sweet when they were younger. When Harry wasn't the only one anyone pined for (which is happening, don't even lie to me) and when they were still teenagers. I feel like now they're acting out because the lady four or so years they had to be clean cut.

But acting like total douche canoes on an interview... Really Niall, Harry? Even Liam! Seriously, fûcking hell. I'm disappointed in them to say the least, and it's just... Sigh.

I'm not sure. I was first into this for their music, but then I got to know them, their personalities. I grew to love them, a lot. But now it feels like it was all... Fake. Like they're actually just complete ãssholes but they were covering it up.

I mean, they were forced to be clean cut for four years. So I get smoking pot, getting drunk, that's fine, whatever. But disrespecting an interviewer who can't understand some of the things you were saying right in front of her? They weren't outright telling her rude things, but indirectly just being shìt heads.

I feel really upset with them, is that just me? I feel like they came all this way, just to go down Beiber's path and just turn completely horrible.

You know those Beliebers who are still there with Justin, trying to justify his dumb actions? They just love him so much, and yet everyone is beating the absolute shìt out of him. They just want him to be innocent, be their Justin again.

I feel like that's how we're gonna end up. We'll be the sad, few One Direction fans clinging onto this fandom for dear life, because, I hate so much to say this, but I think we're falling apart. I think it's almost over.

I don't want it to be. I don't. I love this fandom like it's my own child and I will be CRUSHED when it's gone. But is this the beginning of the end?

If so... Where will we go? Yeah, there are other fandoms. I'm sure I can't be the only one feelings like this when I say this: this is my main fandom. I have one other fandom I'm half as invested into as this one, but this has my whole heart. And any other fandoms? Sure, I know about the people, but I haven't bonded with their personalities. I haven't connected with them.

Yeah, I could do that. But it took three years for me to be where I am and I don't- I can't do this again just to be brought back to this place when I'm just reaching the best part of this fandom.

I can't.

They're grown men. I get it, I do. They're growing up and they want to live a little. But if this is really their personalities, has our whole fandom been a lie? A bitter sweet lie, built on the fact that we thought they were so, so sweet, and now they're just... Not?

I couldn't handle that. I would break down and just- no.

I can't.

-took break, crying-

I'm hoping and praying (I'm not religious either, so that's weird for me) that it's just a phase, or they were just being silly. That it won't continue.

I don't know how to finish this. I'm still crying.

Don't do this to me... Please...

Rain out.