Louder Than Love || Chris Cornell

Applebite

Seattle Washington,
January 20, 1991

Standing up at the clothing rack, I finish hanging up the last of the new arrivals as I solemnly try to focus on anything than what I feel inside. It had been a few days since I met Eddie and I couldn't stop thinking about why I didn't tell him about Chris. Eddie was so sweet to me, so why couldn't I say anything? I also couldn't stop thinking about why I am ignoring Chris in the first place. I don't deserve him at all. Especially for the way I am treating him. I am so conflicted with myself, I just know I'm going to hurt everyone around me. Why do I even try anymore?

"Andi... could you bring up the last box of shirts downstairs and just hang them up on the band shirt rack for me?" Nancy asks as she slings her bag over her shoulder.

"Sure," I say as she breaks me out of my thoughts and I head down into the basement to grab the box of new band shirts. I head over to where we have all our band shirts and start hanging them up. It doesn't take long before I finish hanging them up, and I notice my shift is finally over.

"Ok... I'm uh outta here," I say as I walk behind the cash counter to grab my bag and my jacket.
"Alright... I'll see you next week?" Nancy asks.
"Yep," I say as I sling my bag over my shoulder and head towards the door.
"Alright... bye Andi," She says
"Bye," I say and quickly head out the door onto the sidewalk. I wanted to get out of there so bad, I'm just not in the mood today.

I head down the sidewalk and didn't feel like going straight home yet. It was still early in the afternoon and so I thought I would check out some records at the local record store, Easy Street Records, just down the street. It had been a while since I was here, so I wanted to see if there was anything new. I walk over to the Metal section and start flipping through the records smiling at each album cover I flip through. Every time I come in here I instantly feel better, like I can just loose myself and discover what new music I can that will take me away from my pain just for a few moments.

As I continue to flip through the records, I hear the bell chime and more people walk in. I don't even notice that Eddie has walked through the door and slowly walks up behind me.

"Hey, I thought I would see you again at some point.." He says sweetly behind me. I turn and see Eddie, his curls resting just passed his shoulders his blue eyes shining as they look at me.
"Hi," I smile at him shyly as I just look at him. We stand in silence for a few moments while he looks at me and then looks at the records I was flipping through.
"Find anything good in there?" He says and I look back at the records.
"Uh... not yet... I was still just looking..." I say as I smile shyly at him. I flip through the records and land on Black Sabbath-Master of Reality.
"Sweet they have it here," I say excitedly and he smiles at me.
"I love this album but... mine is all messed up though..." I say as I turn over the back cover.

"That's awesome... I wonder if they have any Ramones..." Eddie says thoughtfully as he walks around the other side of me to flip through the bin of records.
"Um... I did see Rocket To Russia in there... which is weird cause I wouldn't consider Ramones metal," I say as I flip back through the pile I was already in.
"Yea... sometimes they just generalize metal, punk and rock and lump it all into one section," He says as he looks through his side.

"I used to have Rocket To Russia too but I lost it when I moved here..." He says as I flip through the section where I saw it.
"Here..." I say as I stop at the Ramones.
"Sweet," He says as he pushes his curls behind his ear and takes it from the bin. He looks at me and smiles and I smile shyly back. I look back in the bin and flip through some more to see if there was anything else I would like and Eddie glances at me every once and a while as he flips through the ones on his side.