Louder Than Love || Chris Cornell

Rock The Casbah

Seattle Washington, August 17 1993

It was the morning of Soundgarden's 10 day tour supporting Neil Young on the east coast. It's the first time that I won't be able to travel with Chris since I'm having a baby. I consulted the doctor before and though he said I should be fine to fly, but I have this strange feeling that I shouldn't. I can't explain it. It's like ever since I got pregnant, I feel things differently. I don't know if you would just call it a gut feeling or intuition or what, but I just think it's best that I stay home. I don't want anything to happen to the baby, no matter how safe flying would be, she's the only thing that matters right now. It's only 10 days anyways.

And yes... it's a girl. I knew it all along. We still can't decide on what to name her though. We were thinking maybe Lillian for her first name, after my grandmother and Catherine for her middle name, after my mother...

As the light glows through the closed curtains of our bedroom, I slowly wake to find Chris laying behind me, his arm draped over me, his hand placed perfectly on my stomach. I stretch a little and I hear him groan a little behind me. I let out a yawn and carefully maneuver myself to lay on my back and close my eyes, listening to the sound of Chris sleeping. After a few moments, I look over at him, admiring his features as he softly sleeps beside me. He takes in a deep breath and furrows his brow slightly but still stays completely asleep, lost in a dream somewhere.  After a few moments of me watching him sleep, Chris flutters his eyes open and sees me looking at him.

"Hi," He says so cutley.
"Hi," I say back, flashing my eyes at him. He looks over at the clock on the table and then looks back at me.
"You sleep ok?" He asks as he pulls me a little closer.

"Meh..." I say and he smirks. He shifts himself to lay on his back and draws me into him. I rest my head on his smooth bare chest, hearing his heart beat, his chest rising and falling with each breath.

"I wish you could come with me," Chris says softly.

"I know..."

"I wish you could just stay here with me..." I say softly after a few moments.

"I know..."

"Hey... just where do you think you're going?" Chris smirks and raises his eyebrow at me as I climb out of bed, grab his grey plaid shirt from the chair and quickly throw it on to cover myself like I usually do.
"I'll be back don't worry..." I smirk as I grab a hair tie from the dresser, throw my hair up quickly and as I turn to head into the bathroom, Chris reaches out and playfully tries to grab the bottom of my shirt.

"Hey..." I laugh but I end up moving away quick enough for him to miss me and I head towards the bathroom.
"Damn it... come back here you," He laughs and I giggle as I head into the bathroom.

"CHRIS!!!!" I yell from the bathroom after a little bit.
"WHAT!!!!" He yells back.
"CHRIS COME HERE... HURRY!" I yell. It didn't take long for him to bound into the bathroom, in his black boxers, a look of unbelievable fright on his face. He sees me leaning on the counter, facing away from the mirror holding my stomach, looking down at myself.

"Oh my god baby, what... what?" Chris says panicked.

"She's moving..."

"What...?" Chris asks still panicked but significantly less than before as he walks over to me.
"She's moving," I giggle as I still look down at my hand on my stomach, afraid that if I move, I'll miss it. Chris looks down and with my other hand I take his and place his hand where I feel her poking me. He stands there with me looking at my stomach and I suddenly feel that weird bubbly feeling, like as if my stomach is a fishbowl and there's a fish fluttering around inside.
"Did you feel her?" I say excitedly as I look up at him.
"Holy shit, yea... yea I can feel... her," He smiles at me, his blue eyes gleaming. I start to giggle again as the fluttering continues, feeling almost ticklish. Chris looks down at me and laughs a little with me. I feel bad cause I think I scared him. I was kinda scared myself though. This is the first time I've felt her move in there. I look up into his eyes and for some reason I almost feel like I'm about to cry. God damn these hormones. I can't wait til I return to normal.