Louder Than Love || Chris Cornell

Moonchild

Seattle, Washington July 20 1992

"...Shower in the dark day
Clean sparks diving down
....Cool in the waterway
Where the baptized drown
Naked in the cold sun
...Breathing life like fire...."

"Does that even...? Wait... Ok... Breathing life like fire....Thought I was the only one...." Chris says as he sits on his stool in the studio downstairs. With his black notebook of all his doodles, poems, photos, ideas and lyrics, he scribbles on the white paper, strumming a few doomy sounding chords on his new jet black '89 Gretch as he switches between tones with his pedal board that sat in front of him on the floor.

"But that was just a lie...
...I heard it in the wind
And I saw it in the sky...
...And I thought it was the end
...And I thought it was the fourth of July..."

...

I was standing at the counter in our kitchen making coffee and could hear Chris downstairs in the studio singing over a distorted doomy guitar riff. I smile to myself as I hear him stop and then start again while I pour the coffee into a mug for him and one for me.

It was a month later and we were finally back home for a short, but much needed break from touring. I was so happy to be back home in our house, I never realized how much I missed it until I spent 3 months in Europe with 4 guys in such close quarters. I'm not complaining but it's just good to be home. I'm also really glad that we were able to work through the shit that came out with me and Eddie. I still feel so guilty but Chris has told me that he's ok with everything. He understands why I acted the way I did and he completely forgave me which is more than I could ever ask for. I honestly didn't expect him to at all. I still miss Eddie's friendship so much and I hope we can be close like we once were.

One good thing about that Europe trip is that Axl had basically became non existent in terms of being around anyone during the last couple of months. I'm not sure what was going on but there were times where Soundgarden had to continue their set for longer than expected because Axl hadn't shown up or refused to come out of the dressing room in some cases. It just sucked because you could see Slash and Duff becoming more frustrated as the days went on with Axl's episodes when all they wanted to do was get out there and play. I'm just glad that Axl's constant flirting had ended with me since Chris told me he talked to him about it and he started seeing Stephanie Seymour again.

Chris desperately wanted to take a break from Europe since all the drama with Axl started to create weird tension between everyone, so I made a call to Susan, and she set it up for Soundgarden to do a few Lollapalooza shows here in the U.S and Canada and a couple of opening spots on Skid Rows tour with Pantera to finish out the summer.

But with all that aside, today is Chris's birthday and I have something planned for him so I'm trying to keep my mouth shut about it cause I can't freaking wait to surprise him.

I make my way through the kitchen and the living room, carrying the two cups of coffee and make my way downstairs into the studio. I reach the bottom of the stairs and see Chris playing around with the haunting doomy sounding riff while switching tones with his pedal board. 

I think all the Type O Negative I listen to has rubbed off on him.

Sitting on his stool, still shirtless wearing his black 90 logo track pants, his black and white converse high tops, his hair resting just at his shoulders - He wanted a trim last night and asked me to do it ...

"Baby... I only want a little bit... just a trim..." Chris says, sitting in one of our kitchen table chairs, shirtless in just his boxers.
"Ok, ok... I know... just... here can you... maybe... just sit straight," I say and he adjusts himself in the chair. I stand behind him with a pair of scissors trying to figure out how much to take off. His hair was starting to look a little wild and untamed and it apparently was driving him crazy. I thought it looked ok but I now can see how uneven it looks.
"What's wrong?" He asks me.
"Nothing I'm just trying to... see how much..." I trail off as I grab a section. It's one thing cutting my own hair but his, on the other hand, is so incredibly thick that you notice right away.