Louder Than Love || Chris Cornell

The Moore Theatre

Seattle Washington,
March 23, 1991

Soundgarden was performing at The Moore Theatre to try out some of the new material they were recording for their new album. It had been a little while since they were in front of a crowd and it was driving Chris a little crazy. He needed to get out there and perform.

I had just thrown on my Pantera shirt that I had cut and styled with my black distressed mini skirt my silver studded wrist cuff and my Doc Martens, when the phone started to ring.

"Shit," I say and debated on if I should answer it or not as I was already late to meet Chris.
"Fuck it... I'll just let the machine get it," I say to myself and head out the door.

•••

I arrive at The Moore Theatre and head inside the doors. After talking to the guy at the door, he directs me to the side door that leads down into the basement area where the dressing rooms are. I walk down the stairs, head towards the dressing room and I see basically everyone down here. There was Mike, Stone and Jeff talking with Kim and Matt. I also see Jerry Cantrell and Layne Staley from Alice In Chains of in one corner talking to Ben.

As I look around, I see Chris and Eddie talking in another corner while they sip their beers. A part of me starts to panic. I didn't know Eddie was going to be here.

Chris, with his dark beautiful curls flowing passed his shoulders, turns and sees me. He looked amazing with his black 90 T-Shirt, his red plaid shorts and his long black underwear underneath with his Doc Martens of course. His blue eyes gleamed at me as he smiled in my direction.

"Hi," He says as I walk over to him, trying to contain my awkwardness.
"Hi," I say to him as I see Eddie look at me. Chris leans down and places a quick kiss on my lips and then I look back at Eddie. Dear fucking god this is awkward.

"Oh yea... I guess you two haven't met yet," Chris says.
"Uh...," I trail off not sure what to say.
"No.. no, we haven't yet," Eddie says shyly and I suddenly feel a stabbing pain shoot right through my chest.
"Well... This is Andi... the reason I breathe..." Chris smiles, obviously the beer has hit him a little bit.

"Andi this is Eddie..." He says so cutely and Eddie offers a smile at me though I could tell this was extremely awkward for him as it was for me.
"Hi," Eddie says.
"Hi," I say so shyly trying not to freak out inside. I can't believe this is happening. I'm fucked.

•••

The whole time I was with Chris and Eddie having small conversations, obviously talking about anything that came to mind, I began to relax a little. Eddie seemed to carry on with the awkwardness eventually dying away or if he still felt awkward, he sure did a really good job at hiding it. Eventually Stone and Jeff came over and joined in the conversation which took the pressure off substantially. I'm just glad that Chris hasn't caught on to anything and maybe we can just forget about the whole thing.

It was time for Soundgarden to take the stage and so Chris lead me up the back entrance to the stage area as everyone else also remained back stage drinking and laughing. All I wanted to do was watch Chris in his element. He was so mesmerizing, just purely magical. The way his voice soared, the energy he brought, the feeling, he was enchanting.

As I watch Chris from the side, hypnotized by his every move, Eddie comes up and stands beside me.
"Hey..." He says as he leans in to me so that I can hear him. I turn and look at him to see him watching as well.
"Hi...," I say a little nervously. He stands with me for a few more moments while I turn my attention back to Chris.

"You should've told me," Eddie says as he sips his beer. I turn and look at him, he blue eyes catching mine. I didn't know what to say. What could I say? He's right, I should've said something.
"I know," I say and I turn back to watch Chris.  He continues to look at me and I turn and look at him again. His curls falling in his face and he reaches up and pushes them behind his ear.  His blue eyes stay locked on mine and I suddenly feel a strange feeling inside.