Secrets of a School Girl (teacher/student love story)

Chapter Three . . . The songs of a Siren

Chapter Three . . . The songs of a Siren

It was the morning after my date with Tyler and I felt ashamed. Why couldn't I just sleep with him? Why couldn't I give him something both he and myself wanted? Maybe I was so messed up in the head that I just couldn't force myself to do it? Sane or not I regretted not being with Tyler last night.

I heard a knock on the door and knew it was Carrie. "Come in!" I yelled and payed attention to the eggs I was cooking for Sierra and myself. I cracked two more eggs in the pan knowing Carrie would want some when I felt a swift kiss on my cheek and a bag crinkling on the counter. I looked over and it was donoughts.

"So?" She asked and when I looked at her the look of hope was written across her face, but what was she hoping for.

"So . . ." I continued on, but she only sighed loudly and threw her arms up in the air.

"What happened last night?"

"I had dinner." I grabbed a clean plate and put some eggs on it.

"And?'

I rolled my eyes at her, why did she have to keep pushing. "Why are you so interested about my dinner?"

"It wasn't just dinner Kristine, it was a date! A date!" She was trying to pound the idea of it being more than dinner in my head but I just ignored her and walked into the living room with the eggs and gave them to Sierra who was sitting on the couch watching Mickey Mouse.

"Thanks Mommy!"

"No problem." I said and walked back into the kitchen where Carrie was now sitting on my counter eating a donought looking mad.

"Hey, don't take out your anger on the donought." I laughed at my own dumb joke, but she just glarred.

"You know I just want you to be happy and you are not happy. You are not even trying to be happy it's like you think you don't deserve it." I flinched at those words, but I also believed them.

"I'm happy, I just don't need a guy to make me happier."

"Are you listening to yourself?! You are seventeen and so am I which makes me know that you are full of hormones and needs, that I know you aren't getting because you are too worried about these kids. Don't get me wrong you want to take care of them and I'll help you all I can with that, but you need a life my friend. I'm determined to give you that life."

I shook my head and whispered, "Stop, just stop." I looked at her and had tears in my eyes. "I know I don't have a life because I don't deserve one. I made a commitment to these kids and I'm going to keep it. I will protect them and give them a good life they deserve. I'm not a good person and I don't deserve to be treated like one."

"Kristine . . . I -" She started and her voice was full of pity, I hated pity.

"I think you should just leave now, and come back for my late shift." Her eyes were full of her own tears as she left for the door.

When I heard it close I sighed. Who the hell was I anymore and why the hell did I kick my only friend out of my apartment. I felt alone.

"Um . . . Mommy?" Okay maybe I wasn't so alone.

"Yes baby?"

"Are you and Aunt Carrie okay?" She was always so concerned with other people and never gave a care about herself.

"Yes honey, we are fine. We are just a little sad."

"When I'm said I watch Mickey Mouse, you want to watch Mickey Mouse with me?" I smiled as she held out her little hand. I took it and together we walked into the living room.