Secrets of a School Girl (teacher/student love story)

Chapter Five . . . Choices Made

Chapter Five . . . Choices Made

"It's going to be okay Kristine." I looked up at Carrie who was now handing me a very awake Austen. He was watching me and I couldn't help but smile and relax.

"I really don't want to lose him, Carrie. I need him." She knelt down in front of me and wiped away a tear that I didn't even feel  coming down my cheek.

"If he's the guy you say he is then you won't lose him, and he will be there for you, and if he's not then screw him. We don't need him." I nodded and at that point there was a knock outside the door.

Last night, after I got that book, I sat on the bed and read the whole book. After reading it I knew what I had to do. So,  I texted Tyler that same night to meet me today. Which was who was probably knocking on my door right now.

"I don't know if I can do this to him?" Carrie took Austen out of my arms and he instantly began to cry.

"You have to. Go,everything will be okay." I nodded and walked to the door where Tyler stood smiling. "Hi, beautiful." He said and pecked me on the cheek.

"Hi handsome. Do you wanna go for a walk?" He held out his hand and I took it. Instantly warmth took over my whole body even when we were outside in the chilly night.

"So, you wanted to talk to me about something?" He asked. I felt tears form in my eyes, and he stopped to look at me with that concern look in his eyes. "Hey, hey, why are you crying?"

"I can't be with you anymore." His hand cupped my cheek as I looked down at the ground.

"Why not?"

"I can't have you in my fucked up life."

"I thought we already talked about this?"

"No, there's so much more. Things you don't know about me. Things that could probably totally ruin you life." He moved his hand away from my face and stood up straight looking confused. This is it, this is the part where he walks away telling me that I was crazy and that I would never see him again.

"What about your life?" I quickly averted my eyes to his.

"My life is already ruined, its too far gone, but you can save yourself."

"From what?"

"A life that you don't want to get involved with, and that's my life."

"So, you don't want to be with me because you don't want to ruin my life." When I nodded he shook his head, "Kristine if I'm not with you, then you are going to ruin my life. I can't explain it but if I'm not with you my life is ruined. I know that may sound crazy and probably obsessive but I really, really, really like you." He sounded so sincere but I just couldn't

"We can still be friends, Tyler but I can't have a relationship with you."

"How the hell can I be your friend when I'm always going to want something more?" I knew it was going to end this way but why did it have to be so hard.

"Fine Tyler then don't be my friend!"

"That's not what I meant Kristine!" He yelled and I flinched at his voice. When he took a step forward I took a step back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell." I took two more steps anyway.

"I think I better go."

"Let me walk you to the door." He took a step towards me and I jumped back.

"No! Don't come near me." I turned but he grabbed my arm. It didn't hurt but it reminded me a lot of my dad.

"Kristine, I'm not going to hurt you. Please Kristine, please." I shook my head. Could I really trust him, anymore?

"I'm sorry Tyler." I whispered and I turned and walked away back into my apartment without ever looking back.

Once in my apartment I found Carrie sitting on the couch waiting for me. "Kristine, what happened?" I just shook my head and walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. I let the tears fall. I couldn't hold anything in anymore and decided to let it all out.

I felt a pair of tiny hands pull at my jeans. "Mommy please don't cry." Sierra begged and I came down to her and took her in my arms and squeezed her tight. "I love you mommy, I always will."

********************************************************************************************************************* I stretched my aching muscles and felt my stomach drop as I fell and hit the floor with an 'oomph.' I looked around and found myself in my room on the floor. All the thoughts of last night replayed in my head. Tyler was gone. 

I heard Austen's cries from his crib. I got up off the floor and grabbed Austen from his crib and took him to the kitchen where I made a bottle and began feeding him.

God, was I tired and I felt like I had a hangover from all the crying. I could barely keep my eyes open when I heard someone walking into the kitchen.

"What the hell are you doing up so early?" I sighed in relief when I found that it was Carrie.

"God Carrie you scared me."

"Yeah well I didn't expect you to be up at six thirty this morning after what happened last night."

"Austen was hungry." She smiled at him as he sucked gently on his bottle.

"He's getting so big, I remember when you first came here he was still in your stomach, what were you two, three months pregnant?"

"Three." I remember first coming here Sierra and myself had been living in a hotel room for about a month until I found this place. I hadn't seen a doctor had no prenatal pills for me and the baby, and when Carrie discovered us she instantly helped out. I tried to get her to stop but she wouldn't listen, and now she was aunt Carrie.

"You didn't have any money, or doctors but we fixed that up didn't we."

"Carrie, you saved my life."

"And now I'm going to fix it." She said and handed me my cellphone with a weird smile.

I adjusted myself so I could opened my cellphone.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I would never hurt you please forgive me and call me. XOXOXO Tyler.'

There was about fifteen more that went on like this and each one I deleted. I held my phone to my chest.

I made the choice it may of been the wrong one, but the choice was made.