Omega (Alpha & Omega #1)

{Chapter Fifty Six}

I couldn't look Keon or Cayson in the eyes. Every time I did, something stupid happened with my heart and I felt my face heat. I'd spent plenty of time thinking through it, and "love" was the only thing that came to mind.

I'd never felt it, never known it, but for some reason, that's the only thing I could think of. And no matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn't figure out when it happened. It wasn't right before Tracy tried to kill her son. I wouldn't have jumped in front of the bullet if I didn't love them.

Before I mated with them? Maybe. I had my doubts beforehand, but the more I thought about it, I think it was before then. I just couldn't pinpoint when. Either way, the realization of it made me nervous.

Theo and Seth noticed the difference over the next week, but they seemed to chalk it up to the fact that I was still getting over the fact that I murdered someone, much like Keon and Cayson had.

Even as I ate my dinner across from the brothers, I couldn't figure out what to say. They asked questions, I responded with one or two words before my choked up and looked away.

Maybe I could lie to myself and tell myself that I was wrong. That it was just because I almost died that I suddenly thought the rising fondness for the brothers was love.

Either way, the thought was terrifying. More terrifying than jumping in front of a firing gun. Nothing good ever came from love.

"What's going on in that head of yours," Theo asked, catching up with me on my way to the backyard.

I looked at him, then in front of me. "I'm trying to tell myself that I don't have any sort of feelings towards Keon and Cayson other than a general like."

He stopped walking, and I felt his eyes on my back as I continued forward. He caught up with me and stared down at me with slightly widened eyes.

Ah, the reactions of a man who wanted nothing but for me to fall in love with his friends. He looked completely flabbergasted, and maybe a little offended.

He pulled out his phone, dialed, and put it to his ear as his other hand wrapped around my wrist to stop my forward motion. He waited, his eyes flicking to me, then away.

"Hey, Marcus." He squinted at me when I raised my eyebrows. "Do you mind telling Keon and Cayson that I'm going to be taking Phoenix out for a bit?"

He waited, and his lip quirked up. "Oh, hey, Cayson. Fancy hearing from you."

Theo started pulling me in the opposite direction, towards the front door. He picked up the pace when Cayson said something, and grinned back at me.

"Oh, of course," Theo cooed. "That's too bad. We're already on our way."

He pushed the front door open, slammed it behind us, then broke out into a full-on sprint towards his car. With the phone still to his ear, and a grin on his face, he opened my door, pushed me in, and was on his side in a matter of three seconds.

By the time we were backing out of the driveway, Keon and Cayson both stood on the front porch, staring at the car in open-mouthed shock.

"Bye-bye," Theo murmured into the phone before hanging up.

We drove in silence for only a few minutes before he raised his eyebrows in question, waiting for me to explain. But what was there to explain? I already told him what I was thinking.

"You love them and you're afraid to admit it." It wasn't a question. He stated it as fact and left absolutely no room for argument, even if I wanted to argue.

"It's probably the fact that I almost died," I tried anyway.

He stared at me with a bland expression before turning his attention back to the road.

"Where are we going," I finally asked once the silence became too thick.

I used to love silence. Thought that it brought out the realness in people. I loved the time spent just thinking, or just watching people. There were days I'd look out my window back home and watch the people plucking weeds, mowing the yard, or just walking around. And in that silence, I watched them. Watched the way they moved and spoke to each other, never once knowing I was there.

Silence also gave me the time to write, which I hadn't done in too long. My life, once so boring that I had to create my worlds through books, had turned completely around. I was living in some sort of weird romance novel with some bits and pieces of terror that occasionally came my way.

When we got to the mall, I didn't even bat an eye. By the route we were taking, I kind of expected it.

Theo waited for me to get out of the car before he started walking towards the entrance. Once the doors opened, the familiar sounds and smells hit my ears and nose. Alphas, betas, omegas. I could tell just by sight who they were.

I was pulled in the direction of the food court, and he positioned me at a table before leaving me to get food.

About three tables down, I saw a man. His head was bowed over his food, and he stared at it like it was going to kill him to try to eat it. His hands were clasped tight in his lap, and he made no move to eat, even when his caretaker came over and tried to cajole him to eat. He only shook his head, showing that he didn't have a right eye. It looked like it had been cut out haphazardly with a knife.

When he raised his hands to wipe his face, I noticed his bones were all wrong. Disjointed and broken, tried to be put back together but with no avail.

He spoke to his caretaker, showing a row of gums instead of teeth. And those gums were wrong. So wrong. I couldn't describe it, even if I had the words to.

When his caretaker smiled gently, I realized that she couldn't understand. Because his mouth was empty. No teeth, barely any gums, and no tongue.

Theo came over and set the plates down on the table. At the look on my face, he turned his head and spotted just what I'd been looking at. The moment he did, he was around the table, grabbing me and pulling me hard against him to shield me from what I'd already seen.

He'd seen hell, lived through hell, and yet...

And yet my father seemed to still be alive.