Omega (Alpha & Omega #1)

{Chapter Forty Nine}

Cayson was the only one to sleep with me that night. He said Keon had to sort through his thoughts, then he'd come to bed. But I stayed awake until the sun rose, and there was still no sign of him.

I didn't fault him for it. Of course I didn't. If I had to make the decision to murder my own parent, I'd need time to think too. She openly threatened my life, much like Savvy had. She ordered someone to come after me, and no mate would stand by and just let that go. Especially if that mate was aware it could, and most likely would, happen again.

There's a deep rooted love within all children for their parents, no matter how vile they became. Blood was blood.

Cayson ran his thumb over my cheek, finally awake. "You didn't sleep at all, did you?"

I closed my eyes. There would be no way for me to sleep, knowing Keon was somewhere in the house, probably beating himself up. Or wondering why it had to be his mother, of all people.

If my father came after them, hurt them in any way, I'd want to kill him. But going through with it was a whole different story. I've "wanted" to kill plenty of people in my life. Betas who stared at me in disgust, just to show them what I was capable of. Other omegas who only saw me as a way of relief. Then the alphas who spat at me, kicked me, treated me like less than dirt. Did I ever go through with it though?

They already killed Savvy. We all knew that even though that was over, unless the source was killed off, there was no way it would ever end. I'd continue to be hunted, and more and more bodies would pile on top of each other in Keon and Cayson's attempt to protect me.

Cayson kissed my forehead. "We'll figure it out. I promise."

"It wouldn't be this way if it weren't for me," I said, opening my eyes again. I looked at him, into his eyes. "None of the problems you've been facing would have happened if it weren't for the fact that I agreed to stay and mate with you. I don't-"

"Shh." He pulled me close to him and buried his face in my hair. A large hand ran up and down my back in an effort to soothe me.

As much as I wished it would work, I felt even worse. If it weren't for me, Savvy wouldn't be dead, and Keon's mother wouldn't be next on the list.

"Don't let him kill his mother," I said.

Cayson smiled sadly. "Do you actually believe she'll stop if we just let her be? I know you don't like it, but it's either kill her, or continue to kill the people she sends after you. One is a lot less blood on our hands."

"But she is his mom," I whispered.

"She is," Cayson agreed. "But you're his mate."

And so it was my fault. They probably would never admit to it, and they probably didn't even see it that way. I did though. That was enough.

I pulled away from him and got out of bed. When he called after me, asking what I was doing, I didn't turn back. I walked out of the room and to the room that still held my bags and clothes from when I lived with my parents.

I rummaged through a bag, found a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and threw it on.

Cayson opened the door to the room and looked at me, watching as I slid shoes on over socked feet. A curious expression overcame his features.

"What are you doing," he asked.

I didn't look at him. "Where's Keon?"

"Probably in his office." He moved out of my way as I walked past him.

I walked to the office with Cayson following slowly behind me. He never lost that curious air, and I could feel his eyes on my back.

I opened the door without knocking, and an exhausted-looking Keon looked up at me from his computer. He looked me up and down, then his eyes landed on my eyes, which were just as bloodshot as his.

"If you're so set on killing her," I said "let me do it."

He blinked.

Cayson stepped into the room and shut the door. "No."

"Don't 'no' me." I turned on him and narrowed my eyes. "If the two of you are so hard-up to kill her, I don't want Keon having that blood on his hands. That's his mother."

Cayson began shaking his head before I even finished my sentence.

"Look at him." I pointed.

He did as he was told and looked at his brother, then back to me with raised eyebrows.

"What other option is there?" I gave them a few seconds to respond. Then I turned to Keon. "I refuse to allow you to do this. So either figure something else out, or let me do it."

Keon stood and was in front of me in only a second. He slammed his hands on the door on either side of my head and leaned forward, his eyes narrowed. He didn't speak. He didn't need to. The smell of his pheromones grew stronger, and I could feel his heat growing.

A normal omega would flinch away. But I just stared into his eyes. I knew what he was doing.

Those licks of heat shot out and caressed me, slipping around me and feeling every single inch of me, even as Keon remained motionless.

He leaned forward and placed his lips by my ear, never once touching me. "She will kill you before you get the chance to apologize for standing in her presence."

"Then I won't apologize." I was becoming breathless at this side of Keon. He didn't need to touch me for me to feel him. Was that what it was like with other alphas? How about pain? Is that what he was trying to show me?

If his mother could hurt me without touching me, that would be a whole different story.

Keon tilted his head, as if he could hear my thoughts. "I refuse to allow you to risk your life, just because I can't figure out how to go about killing my own mother."

I felt tears prickle behind my eyes, but I kept them wide open, refusing to allow them to fall.

"I'm already risking my life, Keon." I forced a small smile, which took too much effort.

He clenched his jaw, and it looked like he wanted to turn away. But he held himself there, watching my eyes fill with tears.

"You don't need blood on your hands." It was a good attempt.

"I already do," I said. "I knew you were going after Savvy and I didn't stop it. I played a part in that, whether I was the one who did the killing or not. I told you to hurt my father. It doesn't matter who did it, I played a part and I'm just as guilty."

He did turn away then, to hide the expression I briefly saw on his face.

Pain.

I reached out and grabbed his wrist, wrapping my fingers as tight as I could around the muscle and bone there. It seemed to startle him, because he turned wide eyes on me.

"If you don't teach me how to fight," I said, "I will find someone who will. And you won't be the one killing your mother, Keon. I'm not allowing that. You're my mate, just as much as Cayson is. And the fact you're feeling so much pain because of this, is something I won't allow as well."

Cayson, silent until then, seemed to choke on a gasp. He, nor Keon, was expecting it. My show of authority.

My show of being an alpha in an omega's body.

"So it's your choice." I let my hand fall away. "Either you help me, or you don't. But you" - I looked pointedly at Keon, then at Cayson - "nor you, are going after Tracy. Capisce?"

They stared at me like I grew two heads.

"Phoenix," Cayson murmured. "Your eyes."

I narrowed said eyes and glared at him, and the two of them shared a look.

"Fine," Cayson finally said.