Omega (Alpha & Omega #1)

{Chapter Thirty Four}

I sat across from Theo, watching him as he fiddled absentmindedly with his hands. He wrung them together, watching as his skin shifted with the movement. He never once looked at me.

An alpha hiding his face to an omega should have made me smile. But all it did was fill me with guilt for even thinking it. Theo wasn't like any other alpha. He had a conscience. A heart that loved. Even thinking of smiling at the obvious pain on his face made me feel like an asshole.

"Theo," I tried again.

He shook his head for the third time since I sat down with him. He didn't want to hear a word I said.

"Listen to me," I pleaded. "You haven't even heard what I have to say."

"I don't want to." He sounded like a child being scolded.

I reached across the table and grabbed one of his hands. He flinched at the touch, but let me hold it. He was tense, looking down at my hand touching his. There was a flicker of fear across his face, but he lowered his head further to hide it.

"I'm not mad at you, Theo." I squeezed his hand. "I shouldn't have put you in that position."

He curled his lips back from his teeth in annoyance.

"Stop it," I said. "It is not your fault. You came back to try and save me from Tracy. Which I appreciate more than you know. She would have done a hell of a lot worse if you wouldn't have come."

He looked up and it took everything not to pull away from him. His eyes glowed. I didn't know if it was in anger or what, but he narrowed his eyes and he looked every bit the alpha he was.

I clenched my teeth to keep them from chattering. One second. That was all it took for Theo let his pheromones go and let me see what he actually was. What was lurking beneath the skin.

He wasn't going to hurt me, I knew. But every part of me screamed to get away from him.

"I wanted you." He leaned forward to get closer to me, lowering his voice to an octave reserved for secrets told in dark rooms. "I wanted to rip your clothes off and fuck you in the hallway."

"But you didn't." I had to keep myself from backing down. I had to act like him, pretend to be the alpha I was trained to be. It had been so long.

"I would have." He sneered.

I knew what he was doing. I did the same thing whenever I thought I messed up. I hid it with anger. With resentment.

I shook my head. "No, you wouldn't have."

His sneer fell.

"Turn off the headlights," I motioned towards his eyes, "and fucking listen."

His eyes widened. The glow didn't disappear, but it lessened quite a bit.

"You're acting like a kid," I said. "I told you that I don't blame you. I forgive you. What? Do you want me to be pissed off at you? Tell you that what you did was disgusting and I never want to see you again?"

The light behind his eyes died completely then, right before he bowed his head. The tenseness in his shoulders and arms loosened and he just sat there, silent.

"I know it was the smell that made you that way," I murmured, running my thumb over the back of his hand. "Some alphas like the scent. Some love it. Most hate it. And I'm aware mine is different. I don't blame you for any of it, nor should you blame yourself. You know who you love, Theo. And it's not me."

He finally looked up and he looked so sad that it almost broke my heart. It wasn't just the fact that he lost control, it was the fact that he also felt that he betrayed the one he loved. Even though Marcus hadn't been there to witness it, and he seemed none the wiser, Theo felt bad about it.

I squeezed his hand in mine. "Tell him."

He shook his head. "I can't."

"You can," I urged. "It's eating you up inside, Theo. You need to tell him."

He was silent. Of course he was. I didn't expect anything less.

I kept my eyes on him, even as he lowered his head to think. Flickers of emotions flashed across his face, ranging from annoyance, fear, and finally...acceptance.

"You've changed," he said.

I tilted my head in confusion.

A small smile appeared on his face. "You're different than you were the first time I met you. You're more...caring. And kind."

Was he changing the subject?

I opened my mouth to ask, but he stood and walked around the table to ruffle my hair with one large hand. He knelt and placed a soft kiss on my temple before leaving the dining room.

I sat there for a moment after he left, staring ahead at the blank canvas of a wall before me. I changed? He said I became more caring and kind, but I didn't notice any real difference in myself. I mean, of course I cared for Theo and the others that visited Keon and Cayson - minus Tracy, but that was a given.

Did I not hate alphas anymore?

I thought back to my parents, to the way they treated me. Then to the alphas who sneered at me when they figured out what I was. To the lies and abuse I went through just to make it through the day.

I remembered my father's harsh hands on me the day he figured out what I was - how I wasn't worth shit to him in the long run. What could an omega do?

Then I thought to Keon and Cayson. And to Theo and Seth. Sage and Alexis.

No, not all alphas were the same. There were the typical ones, who raised their fists to those under them. But then there were the kind ones, who didn't care about status or rank. The ones that loved unconditionally, no matter what.

I hated unfairness. I hated the rulers and government officials that allowed omegas to be treated like dirt by alphas and betas. I hated those who hated others for no good reason.

But no, I didn't hate the alphas I'd come to know while staying with Keon and Cayson. I definitely didn't hate the brothers, no matter how annoying they could be at times.

No, no. I liked them. I liked Seth and Theo and Sage and Alexis.

The brothers, however, I liked them a little bit more than the rest. Cared for them a little bit more than the rest.

They both walked through the dining room door, bickering about something related to work. And when I saw them, I felt my lips curl up just a bit at the sides.