twins ~ j.m.b (UNFINISHED)

3.4

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Reign

He was sat in front of me again, telling me about his past week. He'd had 3 sessions of CBT with me and things seemed to be looking up

Granted, it can take months for an addict to fully recover but, I'm willing to spend that much time with him, if necessary

I read through his diary that I'd given him on his first session

Monday 19th: today, I almost went and
                           bought myself more cocaine
                           but, I resisted the urge

Tuesday 20th: I haven't had cocaine in a
                            while and I feel proud of 
                            myself. However, I have still
                            had alcohol, just a little bit
less
                          
Wednesday 21st: I couldn't help myself, I
                                couldn't stand another day
                                without having a line.
                                Granted, it was 1 line and
not 5 but I can't help but
                                feel extremely guilty
                             
                             

"You had a line on Wednesday?" I asked gently

Breaking eye contact with me, he nodded guiltily. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. The disappointment had left after the 1st session, sympathy replacing it fully

"Don't feel guilty, Mr Birlem, you can't expect to be recovered fully in a few days. Things like this will happen from time to time and from what I can tell, you're doing amazing so far" I smiled

He looked up, a slight gleam in his eyes. I could tell he appreciated my words immensely and it meant so much to me

"Thank you"

Thursday 22nd: my guilt has put me off of
                               cocaine and I hope it stays
                               that way. Alcohol is still a
                               problem for me but I'm
                              trying to make you proud of
                              me, Reign. I hope you are

I looked up to see a slight rosy tint on his cheeks

"Mr Birlem, of course I'm proud of you! You've come so far and don't tell anyone but, you're my best client ever" I smiled

"Client?" He asked

I nodded, sending him a confused face

"So, we aren't friends? I'm just your client?" He asked

"Well, yes, Mr Birlem. I find it unprofessional to have any kind of relationships with my clients" I reply

Flashbacks from when we used to be together in college raced through my mind, but I managed to push them to the back of my head. It pained me to do so but it had to be done

"If I feel a client has done well or there's a specific client that I'm extremely proud of, such as you for example, the possibility of a friendship at the end of their treatment is highly likely" I smiled, trying to lighten his mood through praise

He sent me a weak, disappointed smile as I continued to read through his diary

Friday 23rd: I feel as if my cocaine addiction
                         is decreasing. I've managed to
                         convince Jay to spend some
time with me. Throughout my
                         addiction, he's kept his distance
                         which hasn't helped my
                        situation and made me become
                        even more reliant on cocaine
                       but, now that I have him back,
                       I feel the best that I have in
                       months

I looked from the book to him

"You have Jay back?" I questioned

He nodded

"Good, keep it that way, it'll help your situation so much. The more time you spend with loved ones, the better you'll feel and theoretically speaking, the quicker you'll recover" I stated, closing the book and sliding it over to desk to him

"Does that mean I should spend time with you then?"

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