In Another Lifetime

Hate

I grabbed a pillow and the blanket off my bed, and went to the couch, curling up in the corner. I was just going to sit here, and try to figure out what I would say to him when I got there 5 hours from now.

~♡~

I had dozed off, my alarm scaring the bejesus out of me when it went off at five minutes to five. I threw the blanket off me, stretching my stiff muscles, wishing that I had laid down instead of curling up in the corner like I did.

Oh God, it was time. I was going in to work early to try and talk to Taehyung. Yet I still had no idea what I was going to say, or if he would listen to me.

But I was dressed, and pretty much ready to go, so there was that. I stood, straightening my clothes, and telling myself to stay calm, and breathe.

I put my sneakers on, then found my hair tie and pulled my hair into a bun. Okay, it was 4:59. Time to go.

I hesitated by the door, taking a few deep breaths. Then I opened it, pulling it closed behind me, and walking to the elevator. Once I was in the tiny lobby on the ground floor, I hesitated again, feeling a bit nauseous.

I swallowed the bile threatening to rise, and pushed my way out the door, making my way the short distance to the building I currently work at. I pushed the door opened, expecting to see someone, since the doors had just been unlocked, but there was no one. I was glad.

I walked to the elevators, and pushed the button, the doors immediately opening. I stepped on, pushing the 9, and watching the doors slide closed in front of me. I laughed as I found myself wishing maybe the elevator would get stuck between here and the 9th floor. But I've learned I should be careful what I wish for.

Once at the 9th floor, I stepped off, pulling my card out of my pocket, and walking to the door that would lead me into the main room. I swiped it, pulling the door opened, and holding it so that it would close quietly behind me.

Taehyung was supposed to be in the hair and make up room. I made my way to the door, turning the handle carefully, and pulling the door opened, once again closing it quietly behind me.

The only light in the room was a muted florescent lamp on Mi Ok's work surface, but it was bright enough to see around the room, only the corners of the small room appearing dark.

I leaned against the door for a minute, trying, without success, to calm my racing heart. But I was here, I'd made it this far. Truth be told, I did want to talk to him.

I pushed off the door, and turned to go back to my area, my breath catching as I caught sight of him. He was sitting in the salon chair, reclined half way, his arms  crossed over his chest, rising and falling slightly with each breath he took, his feet on the small foot rest, knees spread wide, sound asleep.

Seeing him there had initially caused my heart to race even faster, but once I noticed how relaxed he was, and realized how stunningly gorgeous he looked in sleep, my heart actually calmed.

I stared at him, entranced by just how beautiful he really was. Pictures didn't even come close to doing him justice. His face was perfect, every feature complimenting the rest. I found myself wondering if God had ever created anyone else as beautiful as this man was.

I hated to wake him, but I knew I should, for a couple reasons. The first being that I needed to try to fix things with him before the day started and everyone else got here, but also because I imagined he was probably going to be pretty stiff after spending the night in this chair, and he had an important performance coming up later today.

I looked at him for another minute, wanting the memory of how he looked right now to stay with me forever. I smiled, thankful for this, even if things didn't seem to be working out the way I'd have wished for them to.