In Another Lifetime

Yes I did. It was because I wasn't the 20 year old perky girl he'd spent time with. But did it matter. I was still me. My thoughts were still the same. My feelings were still the same. I just didn't know if I could do it. I didn't know if I was ready to be just his friend yet.

~♡~

Sadie and I had made it home from the concert safely, and she had dropped me off at my house around 6:30pm. I walked in the door to see Jason vacuuming, and I stood there with a small smile, watching. He finally turned enough that he caught sight of me, and jumped, knocking the vacuum cleaner over.

"Hi," I said loudly, setting my bag down next to me.

He chuckled, and bent to stand the vacuum back up, turning it off.

"How was your concert?"

I faltered only slightly, smiling and stepping forward to sit on the couch.

"It was amazing. A night I'll never forget."

He nodded, his lips pressed together into a thin line. Then he smiled.

"I'm glad you had such a good time."

He came over and sat next to me.

"I missed you though. Next time, maybe I'll go with you."

My eyes widened, and I leaned back, looking at him in surprise.

"Wait, what?"

"I said-"

"No, I heard you...but, next time?"

"Do you not want to go and see them again?"

"Of course I do."

"Okay then. So next time they tour the US, I think I'll get us both tickets, and go with you. Are you okay with that?"

I drew in a breath. Was I okay with that? I never expected him to say something like that. I didn't know if I was okay with it. But how could I...what did I even say to that.

"Um, sure, but I thought you hated them."

He smiled sheepishly.

"I kinda looked them up, and watched some videos. They're actually really good. I don't know what the hell they're saying, but it doesn't seem to matter. I honestly  started to enjoy their music. So yeah, I'd like to go with you next time they come around."

How could I be upset about that?

"Wow. Really?"

"Yes really. Don't look so shocked."

I giggled.

"I'm sorry. But I am shocked."

"Yeah, well, I can admit when I'm wrong."

He grabbed my hand, folding his fingers thru mine, and I looked at our hands, my mind immediately remembering how Taehyung's hand felt, his long fingers curled thru mine, his large hand making mine seem so small.

I shouldn't be thinking about that, but I didn't know how not to think about it. I missed it so much.

I felt Jason squeeze my hand, and I knew that I had to try. I had to try to stop comparing him to Taehyung. I had to let Tae go.

I could hold onto the memories, but I had to keep them tucked away, and only let them surface when I was alone, in my room, missing him more than I could handle. I could do that. I had to.

"Well, I'm pretty tired after the long drive. I think I'm going to go take a shower and change into something comfortable, and maybe go relax in my room for an hour or so before bed. You ate something for dinner, right?"