In Another Lifetime

Orderly Chaos

"I did though. It's not like I made the wish, and it just one day suddenly came true. I was being told that I could wish for anything I wanted. I knew that I would only get 30 days, and then everything would go right back to the way it was. I was being given every reason to believe that what I wished for was going to come true, and I chose to believe that I was just having a crazy dream."

~♡~

As grateful as I was that he believed me, I was still battling with the guilt of realizing that I had involved him in something he didn't ask to be involved in.

"I don't regret that you're here Delaney, I'm glad you made your wish."

"Even though..." I didn't want to say it, but not saying it wouldn't make it not so.

He smiled. "Even though."

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and looking deeply into my eyes.

"I'm sorry that I stormed out last night. I let my heart control me, instead of my head. I should have stayed, and listened. I should have asked you questions, and let you explain. I should have tried harder to understand, instead of letting my heart convince me that you were lying."

I stayed quiet, wanting to give him the opportunity to talk, and say what was on his mind.

"I think I knew right from the start that you were telling the truth. But knowing, and accepting are two different things. If I accepted it, then I would also have to accept that your time here is limited. That is something I don't want to do, because I have no way to change it."

I closed my eyes, not able to hold his gaze any longer. Tears were once again burning the backs of my eyelids.  

"Leaving was the cowards way out, I know that. But if being afraid to accept that I'm going to lose you makes me a coward, than so be it. I'm still afraid to accept it, but I'm trying, and even if I never accept it, I know how this is going to end. It'll be okay."

My hand came up to cover my mouth, a sob escaping thru my fingers. He pulled me back into his embrace, and I stood there, crying into my hands, hating myself for putting him thru this.

"I don't want you to cry. Come on, the others will be showing up any time. They usually get here a little early on days we have a performance."

He pulled me towards Hei Ran's area, where a box of tissues sat, pulling several out. "Lets get your face cleaned up, you're eyes are going to be all puffy and swollen."

He wiped the tears from my face, wiping my nose, and kissing my forehead, then each of my eyelids. "We'll have to make up an excuse if anyone asks why you look like you've been crying. I'll think of something."

I nodded, glad for that, because I had no idea what to say.

"Lets go to the lounge. That's usually where we meet on mornings like this."

He took my hand, and led me out of the room, across the common area to the lounge, pulling the door opened and waiting for me to enter first. No one was here yet, thankfully. It was 6:46am. We'd been talking for almost 2 hours.

"Wanna make a bet on who will get here first? I'll even name the two that it'll be between, and you can pick first."

I smiled, thankful that he was trying to act normal after the morning we'd had.

"What are we betting?"

"If I win, you have to cook me dinner, whatever I want, tomorrow night."

"What if I don't know how to make what you want? I've never cooked Korean food before."

"Then you'll have to figure it out. The internet is full of information, I hear."