In Another Lifetime

Because of you

"I'll handle it Jimin. But we won't tell Tae that any of us know. If he happens to share any other information with you about it though, please let me know. I know he talks to you, especially when he's upset, so I'm counting on you to keep an eye on him."

~♡~

I woke up and realized that I was snuggled up to Tae's side, his arm around me holding me close to him. I had my leg thrown over one of his, and an arm draped across his stomach. My head was on his shoulder, my nose pressed to his neck, and I could feel the stubble on his jaw against my forehead.

I never wanted to move. I knew I would think that every time a situation like this happened, if it even happened again, but I couldn't help it. To me, this was the perfect place to be. I had never felt so comfortable, or felt like I fit so well, figuratively and literally, with anyone.

I had no idea what time it was, but I knew it was late. We had fallen asleep after our lovemaking, and I was sure several hours had gone by. It was getting dark outside, so it was after 7pm for sure.

I sighed, and felt Tae stir, waking up himself. I felt his arm tighten a bit around me and heard him hum in satisfaction.

"You weren't going to try to sneak away, were you?" he mumbled against my hair.

"I would never leave your arms if I had a choice, Taehyung." I said, not even realizing what was coming from my mouth until after I'd said it.

I felt him tense up slightly at about the same time I realized what I'd just said. I stayed silent for a moment, waiting mostly to see if he was going to say anything.

He took a breath, his chest rising, then falling as he exhaled slowly, my hair fluttering under the breeze he created.

"I know you're going to tell me that it won't do any good, and maybe you're right, but I'm still going to pray harder than I've ever prayed for anything."

"Tae..."

"At least I can say I tried. Otherwise, I'm going to feel like I just let you go, without doing anything at all to try and keep you here."

I leaned my head back, and kissed his jaw. "You wouldn't have to try, and I want you to always remember that. I would stay here forever if I could, with you, because of you."

He smiled, and pulled me to him, sighing deeply. "This sucks."

I laughed. "I know it does. So much. But since I've already admitted that I would have made this wish even if I'd known everything that I found out after the fact, there really isn't anything we can do, except live in the moment, and try not to think about anything beyond right now."

"You say that like it'll be easy." He pouted.

"Not even a little..." I said quietly. "It's going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. But I don't see what other choice I have."

He let go of me and I moved out of his embrace, as he sat up and scooted back to lean against the wall. I did the same, pulling the sheet against me and tucking it under my arms.

"Part of me wants to be with you on your last night here, so I can hold you all night and not let you go. But I'm scared that I'll go out of my mind if I wake up to find you gone. So of course, there's also the part of me that's afraid to stay with you."

He looked at me, and I tried to lighten the mood a little, even though I knew neither of us had any reason to smile. "Maybe If I hold you tight enough, I can bring you with me."

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, and I watched them fill with tears, my heart shattering. I never, ever imagined that this beautiful, sweet man would come to have feelings for me, to the point that he was afraid to lose me.