In Another Lifetime

Part of me

Oh my God. Why had I forgotten this conversation? Why had I forgotten that Tae had also made a wish? I had been more focused on the fact that I only had 30 days, and that he was going to be hurt, and had somehow forgotten that I was apparently going to help him get his wish. 

~♡~

Let him love me...let him make a difference. That's what I was supposed to do?

Maybe I had been spending too much time thinking and worrying, when I should just be living, and enjoying every second. But I didn't know if I could. I wanted to. I wanted to believe that everything would work out just how it was supposed to.

If I could convince myself to believe that, to accept that everything that happens, or that will happen, is supposed to happen just the way it does, maybe I could enjoy the rest of my time here. But I didn't know if I could just ignore the fact that Tae was going to end up hurt.

How could I accept his love, knowing that in less than 2 weeks, he'd be left heartbroken?

"Taehyung  wants to know that he's made a difference in someone's life."

He had made such a difference to so many, but I understood that it would feel so much more rewarding to know the person who he'd helped, to be able to have someone specific in mind when he remembered that he'd made a difference, and changed their life.  

"You are the person whose life will be changed by Taehyung. No matter what the future brings for you, you're life will be better after having known him."

My life has already been changed, so much. It was difficult to put into words the impact being around him, all of them really, has had on me. There was such a positive energy surrounding them. The time that I had spent with Tae that hadn't been filled with worry had been amazing. I just felt a constant happiness in my heart.

He was a part of me now, he held a place in my heart that would always belong to him. No matter what my future held, Taehyung would be a part of it. I would always have this to look back on, and I knew that even in my worst moments, the memories of my time here would bring me so much joy.

"Then continue to be happy. Let Taehyung love you. Let him make a difference. Don't stress over what might happen at the end of your time here. Focus on the now. Don't waste your wish. Things have a way of working out just how they're supposed to."

Don't waste my wish.

That's what I was doing. I was losing precious time with him because I was so worried about how this was going to end, and how I didn't think I wanted him to find me because after all we've experienced together, I know I could never think of him as just a friend. On top of that, the fact that I could technically be his mother would make things so awkward.

I didn't want to waste my wish. I wanted to let him love me. He'd already made a difference.

Things have a way of working out just how they're supposed to.

I wanted to focus on now. I wanted to trust that Taehyung would be okay. But even if I could believe that, would he?

I rolled over, pulling the sheet up over me, wondering what I could say to him to get him to just accept whatever was to come.

Would he even want to talk to me after what I'd said earlier?

I sat up, grabbing my phone, wondering if I should text him. It was almost 2am, I was sure he was asleep. But he would get it in the morning, and maybe It would alleviate some of the tension I knew would be present after what had happened.