In Another Lifetime

Write it down

I didn't know what to say. I was elated, but also heartbroken. Knowing that in the end he was going to be hurt when I disappeared, it made my heart ache so much. I didn't want that for him. But I wanted him, I wanted him to want me. I wanted this.

~♡~

For a brief moment, I considered pushing him away, and telling him to go home, that he'd made the right decision, and that staying away from me was exactly what he needed to do because he didn't need any more heartache in his life. Especially heartache he could avoid.

But I knew it was too late. There would be heartache, no matter what happened now. I wished for this. I made this happen.

I looked at his beautiful face, so close to mine, his lips, so full and soft, plump from having just kissed me. I felt his breath against my face, his lips slightly parted, and I was so tempted to close the distance and take his bottom lip between mine, suck it into my mouth, taste it, nibble on it.

I saw his lashes flutter, and his eyes opened, looking into mine. I saw fear, and my heart twisted in my chest. He was scared, and I just wanted to hold him, and make it go away.

But I couldn't make it go away, because I caused it. It was my fault. My eyes must have clouded with worry, because his hand came to cup my cheek, a small smile curving his lips.

"I'm not going to lie, It's going to suck so much when you're gone. If there was anything I could do to keep you here, I would. I know there isn't, I know I'm going to lose you." He gazed at me so intently that I averted my eyes, inhaling deeply and willing my heart to slow down.

"I need you to know something, and I need to know that you understand, that you believe me."

I met his eyes again. "Okay..." I whispered.

He pulled away, so that he could look at me fully, his hands sliding down my arms to take mine, holding them gently.

"This isn't about a wish Delaney. I'm not standing here right now because you made a wish. I'm standing here because I want to be."

He raised his eyebrows slightly, questioning me with his eyes. I swallowed, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, nodding the tiniest nod.

"But I wouldn't even be here if I hadn't made that wish."

"That's true. I'm not arguing that point. I just want you to know that if you had shown up here, and we had crossed paths somehow, I would have noticed you. I would have talked to you, tried to get to know you better."

I shook my head. "Tae, if I had just shown up here, without my wish playing any part in it, I would be my 51 year old self, not what you see in front of you right now, so I know that even if you were nice enough to say hi to me, had we encountered each other, that would have been even more than I could have hoped for."

"Delaney, I'm just trying to make you understand that what I'm feeling isn't because of a wish you made...I'm not here wanting to spend time with you, wanting to hold your hand and not let it go, wanting to kiss you and touch you, be close to you, stay with you...because of a wish. I'm here because I want to be here."

I closed my eyes, cursing my age once again.

"God has nothing to do with the way I feel." He said quietly.

"It doesn't change the facts, Tae. I feel terrible that there are so many things I never took into consideration when I foolishly made a wish to be here, be close to you, be your girlfriend. I mean, I guess if I'm going to be mad at anyone, I should be mad at God."

He smiled, and raised a brow. "You're mad at God for granting your wish?"

"No, I'm mad at God for letting me make a wish I couldn't back out of first, and then telling me all the important details, like that I would know what was going on and why, or that I only had 30 days, and most importantly, that both of us would remember everything once the wish was over."