In Another Lifetime

Here and now

My arms had found their way around his neck, and I held on, kissing him back, not wanting him to stop. I didn't know exactly where this might lead, but it didn't matter. I was focusing on him, just like he'd asked me to.

~♡~

I'd asked him to fall for me as if he didn't know I'd be gone from his life soon. If that's what he was doing, I wasn't going to stop him.

He deepened the kiss, his mouth coaxing mine opened, his tongue dipping in and tasting mine. His lips were so soft, and I could taste his strawberry lip balm. My fingers weaved their way into his hair, the silky strands sliding thru them like water flows over a slippery algae covered stone.

He stood, picking me up, his lips never leaving mine, my fingers still running thru his hair, and I felt him take several steps, I could only assume in the direction of the bed, because I honestly had no idea, being that  my eyes were closed as his lips devoured mine.

I had dreamed about moments like this, never imagining I would ever get close enough to make eye contact with this man, even that only If I were ever lucky enough to get to a concert. Now, he was carrying me to my bed, his lips having been glued to mine for at least the last minute and a half.

I felt him sit down, pulling away to breathe, his forehead pressed to mine, my arms still not loosening from around his neck.

Our chests heaved as we drew in deep breaths, and I opened my eyes, not surprised to see his deep brown orbs gazing right into mine.

"Remember when I said I wanted you, but that I wouldn't act on it?" He whispered breathlessly.

"Mmhm." My heart jumped a little.

"Well, forget I said that."

His eyes sparkled like a million fireflies were all trying to make a home there, his lips curved up in a mischievous smile.

I swallowed, feeling like I had a lump the size of a golf ball in my throat. I wouldn't claim to not want him, because I did. Although I was 20 here and now, I still had the experience of my 51 year old self on my side. Besides, I wasn't a virgin at 20 anyway. My husband hadn't been my first.

I wondered if I might not be able to teach him a thing or two. In fact, I was sure I could. But I wasn't going to bring it up. I wanted whatever was going to happen to not be marred by things I wasn't supposed to be thinking about.

Here and now. That's all that mattered.

He kissed me again, his lips lingering, his nose brushing mine as he tilted his head slightly.

He turned, moving me off his lap, so that I was next to him on the bed, breaking the kiss, humming as he pulled away.

"Unless you would rather not..." he started, looking at me with questions in his eyes.

"No, I'm..." wow, what did I even say. "I would very much like to forget you said it." I couldn't look into his eyes at the moment, feeling slightly embarrassed, but I had no idea why. I wasn't nervous, not really.

Okay, maybe a little nervous. But not over what was about to happen. More like, who it was about to happen with.

I suddenly felt shy, and couldn't help but wonder how I would be able to look at him when...well, when I was back in my house, spending time in my happy room. Looking at pictures of him, or watching videos...would never be the same.

Here and now, here and now. It was harder than I thought it would be.

"I know it feels awkward, Delaney. For me too. There is plenty I'm trying not to think about, but it's hard to push the thoughts aside."