It Should Have Been Us (Completed)

I

Mine.

"The plane left an hour ago, Isha."

Marahan akong tumango lang kay mommy habang nakatingin pa rin sa labas ng bintana. She is informing me about Saint, leaving, finally. He left me already. After I committed suicide, I woke up in this hospital, I witnessed how he screamed in pain as looked at me with pale skin, almost dying. Dahan dahan siyang pinakawalan nina daddy at tito. Humakbang siya palapit sa akin at walang sabi sabing niyakap ako ng sobrang higpit.

"Don't fucking do that again. Please don't even try thinking of doing it again. Alright. Alright. I will leave. If that will make you at peace. I will leave. Just.. just don't do it again....just don't."

Iyak niyang paulit ulit na saad. He kissed my head and left with his father. That same day, they booked a flight and went back in the Philippines.

And after my mom finally informed me about it, I quietly went back to my hospital bed and tried so hard to get my sleep.

"You tried to love her though."

Natigil sa pagsuklay si Saint sa aking buhok. Sinubukan niya akong silipin mula sa kanyang yakap habang nakahiga kami sa kanyang kama pero isiniksik ko lalo ang ulo sa kanyang dibdib. Napabuntunghinga na lamang siya at hinalikan ang gilid ng aking ulo.

"You've been saying that for the nth time baby."

He chuckled on my hair. Nakalapat na kasi ang labi niya doon. Sumimangot lamang ako  without him knowing. Umingos pa ako sabay yakap ng mahigpit sa kanya.

"And you've been avoiding to answer it for the nth time too. Bakit ba hindi mo na lamang sabihin na oo?"

Iritado akong napatingin sa kanya. Pinantaasan niya ako ng kilay. Ang isang kamay na sumusuklay kanina sa aking buhok ay naiwan na sa ere.

"And when I said no, you'll definitely force me to say yes. And once I followed you and say yes, you'll get mad at me. At iiwan nanaman ako? So no baby. I won't answer either. Maniwala ka lang na mahal kita. Doon ka na mapapayapa. Okay? Mahal.na.mahal.mahal kita. Kaya pakasalan mo na ako. Please naman!"

Napahagikgik ako sa klase ng pagmamakaawa niya. Ngumisi lamang siya habang titig na titig sa akin. I reached for his face.

"Maybe, we can try?"

Nabura ang ngisi sa labi niya sa narinig. Napabalikwas pa siya ng upo sabay kandong sa akin. Hinawakan niya ang mga hita ko para ikunyapit sa likod niya.

"Dinadaya lamang ba ako ng pandinig ko o talagang sinabi mo iyon? Fuck. Pakiulit. Please?"

I chuckled before I claimed his lips.

"I'll give this a shot. Please take care of my heart once more."

Nahigit niya ang sariling hininga sa sinabi ko. May tumulong luha sa gilid ng kanyang mga mata bago ako niyakap ng sobrang higpit.

"Fuck. This is so real, right. Tell me. It's real."

Hingal niyang bulong sa labi ko. I smiled at him before grinding myself to the huge thing inside his pants.

"Now. Do you feel reality?"

I asked with naughtiness while I giggle like a teenager. He cursed and kissed me with needy. I know where this is heading. Oh. Oh.